Sunday, March 09, 2008

Adwords criminal click fraud

The losses from "Internet Indigents" may be heralding the demise of web advertising, a multi-billion dollar a year industry.

Now that the poor and ignorant have access to the Internet, all of the major search engine companies are feeling the heat.

Click fraud, scams and adwords deception have become the norm, and anyone who is considering advertising with paid clicks needs to know that the Internet Indigents will eat-up more than half of their advertising budget.



Consultants who study online advertising estimate that 10% to 15% of ad clicks are fake (deliberate click fraud), running up a tab of over $1 billion each year. However, when you consider the Internet Indigent, idiots mashing hyperlinks for fun and profit, the real figure is closer to five billion dollars a year.

At long last, we are seeing the market voting “No Confidence” in paid ad clicks.



Google stock fell 4.7%, amid concerns over the future viability of paid adwords hits the market and I believe that’s it’s largely due to the nasty “Internet Indigents”, poor, ignorant web surfers who clog forums with idiotic questions, stalk and harass people, and make themselves feel powerful by clicking paid adwords to cheat their business competitors. Businessweek confirms my own statistics that the vast majority of the “Internet Indigent” are foreigners, often uneducated and poor, but they all share low moral values and greed to rip-off businesses with fake ad clicks:

“Over the past three years, he has noticed a growing number of puzzling clicks coming from such places as Botswana, Mongolia, and Syria.”


Foreign Fraudsers love earning cash from paid ads

Wired notes that the click fraud is big business, and much of the stealing has been automated with foreign botnets:

“The FBI recently reported that botnets – which are used to facilitate crimes, such as spam, identity theft, denial of service attacks, phishing, spyware distribution and now click fraud – have infiltrated more than 1 million U.S. computers".

This map show the relative amount of click fraud by country. Note the high click fraud in third-world areas (Europe, China, Pakistan and Australia):

Internet indigents are the scourge of the web, one of the primary reasons that the web is becoming a dictatorship of idiots. Today, any jackass can label themselves an “expert”, regardless of their qualifications. In the database arena, I’ve seen loads of “fake” experts, people who put-up a front as an expert, yet refuse to publish their resume, lest people know that they are not what they appear to be.


Rednecks should be prohibited from clicking on paid advertizing

In fact, the whole pay-per-click auction model that Google pioneered is fraught with flaws. This study by ComScore notes that the types of people who click on ads are not the kind of people with the disposable income to buy your products and services. Over half of an online advertising campaign being spent on “Internet Indigents”, lower-class, blue collar surfers who earn less than $40k/year, and click like mad on paid ad clicks:

“The study illustrates that heavy clickers represent just 6% of the online population yet account for 50% of all display ad clicks. While many online media companies use click-through rate as an ad negotiation currency, the study shows that heavy clickers are not representative of the general public.

In fact, heavy clickers skew towards Internet users between the ages of 25-44 and households with an income under $40,000. Heavy clickers behave very differently online than the typical Internet user, and while they spend four times more time online than non-clickers, their spending does not proportionately reflect this very heavy Internet usage”


Can Click Fraud be stopped?

Even the all powerful Google has not developed the technology to thwart the Internet Indigent, and they steal advertising dollars with free abandon.

"It's not that much different from someone coming up and taking money out of your wallet," says David Struck. He and his wife, Renee, both 35, say they dabbled in click fraud last year, making more than $5,000 in four months.

Employing a common scheme, the McGregor (Minn.) couple set up dummy Web sites filled with nothing but recycled Google and Yahoo advertisements. Then they paid others small amounts to visit the sites, where it was understood they would click away on the ads, says David Struck. It was "way too easy," he adds.”

There are also cases of unscrupulous and struggling competitors who use paid adwords to try to siphon-off legitimate searches for their competition. See here, when you search for the keyword “Burleson”:



One promising tool is the Google adwords by zip code, where you can target your ads to neighborhoods with less poor and immoral people.



Another possibility is a tool to detect when an internet indigent is behind the keyboard, perhaps a body odor meter attached to the PC:

Saturday, March 08, 2008

Going Green with an electric Gem car

It’s time to start thinking green, as our huge pickup trucks now cost over $100 to fill-up.

“Ole Yeller” is our tried and true farm truck, a noble old lady, the ultimate sexy redneck car. I always get the pretty red neck gals giving me the eye when I drive this baby into town:


Redneck Chickbait: Ole Yeller

The girls just stop in their tracks and their jaw drops when they see me in Ole Yeller. You can tell that they find it very sexy. Can you believe that she still has her original paint?

Our F-350 even has two gas tanks, a true land barge, and the ultimate farm vehicle. It’s far larger than the biggest SUV:



Perception problems with going green

The problem is finding an electric car that is not seen as effeminate. Remember the Isetta mini car from the 1960’s? Very queer car, opening-up in the front:



The Prius, for example, has a reputation for being for gay (or at least “wussy”). In the noted South Park episode, we also see the perils of hybrid car owners being seen as “smug”, self-righteous hippie liberals who think that their own farts don’t smell bad.

Or worse yet, what if people think we are European? That would be too shameful to bear:



So, how do you “go green”, without being accused of being a Democrat? Me, I’ve always admired those animal-powered luxury cars, 100% green:



Our little Gem car is street legal, plus it’s also authorized for the golf course. However, there is no way I would drive this is my own neighborhood, it’s fodder for ridicule in redneck circles.



The Gem 4-seater can comfortable hold four people, with a top speed of over 40 MPH (But only if you remove the governor):





(L to R) Wynona, Ben, Jen1 and Don

It’s also hard to cherry-out a wimpy electric car, they look dumb no matter what you do, like the Smart Car, all weird, all the time:



Even the tried-and-true Isetta looks weird when customized:



And don’t even think about getting an electric car convertible. They look like a rolling bathtub:

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Sheetz "Crispy Frickin Chicken"

Conservative folks are aghast that Sheetz has introduced a new product, aptly named "Crispy Frickin Chicken":



Well I'll be fuddly-ucked, Sheetz is being accused of using "Fowl Language" with this frickin chicken campaign.



I hear that these were several runner-up name choices:

- Crispy-ass chicken
- Goddamn crispy chicken
- Mother Cluckers chicken sandwich
- The Sheetz sandwich: As good as it sounds . . .

And a good slogan would help too, maybe like this:

"Life is a Sheetz sandwich, and every day you must take a bite".

"Frickin Chicken: It's finger frickin good"

Here is funny Fark commentary on this fricking chicken:

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3433010

And their suggested alternative name:



Ah, the outrage continues. What a frickin mess:

http://news.google.com/news?&q=sheetz+%22crispy+frickin+chicken

But it's a billiant ad campaign.

They could not buy this kind of publicity!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Bad SQL Server database advertising

Man, this Microsoft SQL Server ad is just ridiculous.

Note to self: Run buy some more shares of Oracle:


SQL Server Gal - Yes Dorothy, it's really that lame

“Between the crime fighting, the volunteerism, and the press engagements, SQL Server Gal has barely had time to learn her ninth language (Lithuanian) or work on her collection of 17th century quill pens (her most recent addition being the one Spinoza used when drafting his seminal work Tractatus Theologico-Politicus).”

Friday, February 22, 2008

Foreign thieves steal my web site

Foreign thieves again

I just found this today, some Indian fellow who stole my whole web page and copyrighted it in his name. It also says that I work for these foreign creeps now!

“Angtech remote DBA is managed by Donald K. Burleson, one of the world’s leading Oracle consultants and authors”



These people are crooks.

Read more about the foreigners who steal intellectual property.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

World record sale price at Arabian horse auction!

World record set for Polish Arabian horse!

The highest price paid at auction in history, 2.8 million dollars for a Bask-bred Arabian, Baske Afire, a Bask great-grandson, at the Scottsdale auction!

His new owner is Barbara Chur of Strawberry Banks Farm in New York

Interestingly, Baske Afire is an Afire Bey V son (and, of course, a Huck grandson)! The previous record was *Muscat, who went for only two million back in the 1970’s.


Baske Afire - Sold for $2,800,000.00

Prices are coming up again for Bask Polish horses, a good sign with all of our Bask bloodlines. Check out this CNN video, a beautiful stallion, all action, high action.

Baske Afire Video

I’ll bet his stud fees are going up soon, very soon.

Polish Performance Power!

Burleson Arabians is dedicated to breeding the Polish Arabian Performance horse, pure Polish Performance Power . . . . Too many halter horses are bred exclusively for looks, resulting in too much type and not enough action:


Too much dish?

Our horses, Successor, Praetor, Sarah, Rye, are also *Bask grandchildren, but not the same exact line as Baske Afire, but the same breed standard nonetheless . . . .

Our Bask Afire was the son of the most popular paring of all-time, the *Bask x Susecion cross. Note his level croup, which belies his extreme high action, quite decaptive to find a hose with both beauty and power:


Bask Afire

Our Bask grandson Successor, has also won numerous championships:


Suscessor - A *Bask Grandson

It's great to know that all of our linebreeding research has been replicated by other top breeders and that Polish Arabians have such interest in the market again.

Maybe it’s time to start consigning at auctions again . . . . . Nah, it would be like selling a family member . . . . .

Golf Maximum score per hole

Every golfer has to deal with the occasional bad hole where a double-digit score unfairly skews their handicap and ruin their round. Many golf professionals insist that you should always record your actual strokes, no matter how bad, but the USGA has rules on this issue.

I once saw a fellow toss 8 golf balls into a water hazard, determined to make it over from where his ball landed, all because he had seen Tiger do it on TV!

Equitable Stroke Control (ESC) is the maximum allowed individual hole scores to more accurately represent a player's scoring "potential", and forgiving a bad hole!


It's very embarassing to have a nightmare hole, but at the same time, one bad hole should not skew your scores on the other holes.




Your Handicap Maximum stroke score per hole

up to 9 Double Bogey
10 through 19 7
20 through 29 8
30 through 39 9
40 or higher 10

Read more about how to determine your maximum score per hole:

http://www.dba-oracle.com/golf_travel/golf_score_maximum_per_hole.htm

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Let's get tough on hackers

I have many clients with web sites and it never ceases to amaze me how much bandwidth on the web is dedicated to criminal activities.



IN a security test for a client, we put out a “honey pot” (an enticing web site), and watched as hackers found the web site in less than 30 minutes, and we watched them break in and do their dirty work!



The guy even upgraded the release of Linux on the server, so that his Viagara spam script would work!

This New York Times article “Make Big Profits Illegally (and Maybe Keep Them, Too)”, shows the epidemic of hacking, and now we see that the hacker and criminals are being rewarded, due to ludicrous loopholes in the SEC laws. THIS IS NOT RIGHT:

“Dorozhko’s alleged ‘stealing and trading’ or ‘hacking and trading’ does not amount to a violation” of securities laws, Judge Naomi Reice Buchwald of United States District Court ruled last month.

Although he may have broken laws by stealing the information, the judge concluded, “Dorozhko did not breach any fiduciary or similar duty ‘in connection with’ the purchase or sale of a security.” She ordered the S.E.C. to let him have his profits.”



Let's get tough on crooks

China attacks US government systems daily, and the hackers know that there are no consequences for their acts. It’s time to change that.

“The judge appreciated the absurdity of the situation, and expressed disappointment that the Justice Department had not brought criminal charges for computer hacking.

The government has offered no explanation for that, but it is possible the department saw no likelihood of ever being able to arrest Mr. Dorozhko, and did not think the case worth the trouble.”


If we got the CIA to start killing these web criminals, maybe the word would get out. Plus, the US should start enforcing laws against those who make money with tools that aid and abet web criminals.


Some good books can be abused by bad guys

eBay had become a den of thieves, and the webopolies do not have the best interests of the American consumer in-mind.



Why do we have laws against aiding and abetting a criminal if they are not enforced?

“A criminal charge of aiding and abetting or accessory can usually be brought against anyone who helps in the commission of a crime, though legal distinctions vary by state.

A person charged with aiding and abetting or accessory is usually not present when the crime itself is committed, but he or she has knowledge of the crime before or after the fact, and may assist in its commission through advice..."

For more on the legal issues on the web, see my book "Web Stalkers":

Monday, February 11, 2008

The Real Guitar Hero!

In this age where kids play “pretend guitar” with Guitar Hero II, it’s refreshing to see kids like my son who have the Moxie (*) to get out there and play in a real band, in Andy’s case, Hot John Stockton.

As to the silly Guitar Hero game, it’s for losers. They need a better game for losers, with instruments that losers can identify with:



It takes guts to go out and play in a crowded student ghetto bar, and I give him a lot of credit.

Here are some Youtube videos of Andy Burleson’s new band “Hot John Stockton”:

- Hot John Stockton live!

- Hot John Stockton rocks the house!

Me, I played cymbals in high school band, and I’m glad to see that he picked a better instrument that I did.



Andy is gonna make a great attorney, he loves to argue. A chip of the old block, I remember the fun of confronting religious weirdo’s with their own warped logic.

Andy abuses a warped religious nut.

After watching this, I wondered about his Faith, and I was surprised to see a Bible on the seat of his pickup truck. I asked him about it and he said that he used it when he went to a costume party dressed as a Christian!!! Oh well, it's a start, I suppose . . . .

His picture reminds me of the cover for the Faith + 1 album, very dark and brooding, the essence of cool!




Andy has always been a talented musician. He plays a mean jazz trombone, piano and guitar, both electric lead and bass.



It looks like he has screaming groupies too:



Having inherited my smarts and good looks, Andy can’t lose:






I love Gary Larson’s cartoons, and this one hits the nail right on the head:

It’s like those DeVry ads on TV, suggesting that morons can learn to write advanced graphics for video games. The stupidity of the average American never ceases to surprise me. DeVry is a joke. I know graduates with degrees in computer science who never learned to program in any language. Contrast that with MIT, where programming skills are not considered college-level learning, and they expect you to be proficient in C before class starts.

Anyway, I’m glad to see there is room for real musicians:



(*) It takes Moxie

Moxie is a noxious-tasting soda where the slogan began “It takes Moxie”, to refer to someone with the guts to drink this nasty concoction.

According to M. Allen Greenbaum, Moxie was originally a “tonic”, a usual practice to tout the health benefits of anything that tastes really bad:

“Doctor Thompson, Moxie's inventor, began the Moxie Nerve Food Company in Lowell, Massachusetts, which advertised the drink as a safe "... nerve food known that can recover brain and nervous exhaustion, loss of manhood, imbecility and helplessness.”



You can still buy this noxious brew on Amazon, but with S&H, a six pack will set you back more than $70 dollars.



Let me wrap-up with a good ole Redneck story:

Two rednecks walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the rednecks looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The redneck walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the redneck walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says:

'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

A golf celebrity visits the ranch!

Most golfers know what they want in a residential pitch and putt, and when I decided to move forward with my project, I needed someone that I could trust to manage the project, an honest PGA professional with unimpeachable credentials, industry contacts and the savvy to get the residential course done right, on-time and under budget.

We trusted Brad Clayton, a PGA Master professional to help us navigate the labyrinthine maze of complex tasks.


Brad Clayton

We were thrilled to have a celebrity at the ranch, none other than Rick Robbins, a designer of some of the world best golf courses.

Rick had a few days break from his work in China, and it was great fun to hear his tales of jetting around the globe in a Learjet G3 with his good friend Jack Nicklaus.


Rick Robbins takes charge!

Rick was Jack Nicklaus' Senior Design Associate and his latest course, the Mill Creek Golf Club in Mebane, North Carolina was named, "Best New Course" in North Carolina by the golf panel of North Carolina magazine.

Rick was able to advise landscapers on the best turf (419 Bermuda in our case), and the best artificial turf for the putting and chipping areas. Rick as also able to advise us on the best sand for our traps.

Right now, it’s all plowed ground, but taking shape quickly:


The first hole - A tabla rasa

Sadly, Rick was unable to advise us on how to keep the barn cats from using the sand trap as a litter box, and one of our ranch hands will have to scoop it out every day.


Cat's suck

Brad is an amazing golf instructor. He lost his own right arm, but he does not let his handicap prevent him from being one of the best golf teachers I've ever worked with. Brad also donates his time to teach veteran amputees, a charitable service that has brought the joy of golf to worthy wounded servicemen and women. We have decided to invest in a golf book by him:


Brad Clayton's golf book

Read more about our evolving pitch and putt course here:

http://dba-oracle.com/golf_travel/golf_residential_course.htm