Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Verizon cannot do simple math!

This is absolutely ridiculous.

http://failblog.org/2009/02/04/verizon-math-fail.htm

It's time we started teaching basic math to people:



I love the part from the idiot at Verizon: "That's your opinion"!!!

Fun winter golf trips

When the snow flies in Kittrell, it's only a six hour drive to the deep south, with warm climate and lots of golf! My favorite winter golf spots include:

- Jekyll Island
- Hilton Head
- Scottsdale
- Palm Springs

This year our winter golf getaway was to Hilton Head. We chose the golf deal with Hilton, only $275 per night for a nice room and green fee for two on any of their three courses. It was the prefect winter getaway, warm days, great golf, reasonable prices, just perfect!


The Robert Trent Jones golf course in Hilton Head is great fun!

The Hilton hotel was dog friendly, and Noel enjoyed playing with us, as we slogged through over 100 holes during our six-day visit. My pedometer clocked about 2.5 miles of walking for each 18 hole excursion.

Bunker fun!

Hilton head Palmetto Dunes is bunker city, huge sand traps everywhere


Winter golf offer a chance to work on fairway bunkers

Other tips for Hilton Head include:

Play early - They let out the nursing homes at 11:00 AM, and you can expect to be on the course for 4.5 hours if you start late. Unless you like watching Grandma Mable use a driver for a 30 yard approach shots all afternoon, tip the starter $20, and get the first tee time at 8:30, and you can be done in time for lunch!

  • Play the forward tees - Unless you can carry at least 110 with a 9-iron, step back and play the up front tees. You will have a much happier day!
  • Eat in - The room service at the Hilton Head Hilton oceanfront resort is fabulous! Great burgers, fries, everything was great!
  • Avoid the geriatrics - Grumpy blue-haired old folks are everywhere, but most of them are in bed by 8:00 PM, so plan on dining late.




Hilton Head is sand city!

See my full notes on a great winter golf getaway at Hilton Head here.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

What happened to all those Sambo's?

Anybody old enough to remember Sambo’s restaurant?




The restrurant was modeled after the classic kiddie tale, "Little Black Sambo":



Evidently, there is still one Sambo's left, celebrating their 50th anniversary . . .

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Calynche horse scam

It has come to my attention that there are some scammers in England who have made-up a new horse breed! They call them Calynches, a regal sounding breed name pronounced “ca lynch ie”. I suspect that Calynche is a foreign word for "sucker".

The British Calynche horse tinkers have been having a field-day ripping-off the trusting public.

"MINATURE CALYNCHE HORSES Some are even smaller than a dog!!! These incredible fabulous rare/ exotic pets have outstanding temeraments, very easy to keep"

I have over 30 miniature ponies, and I detest these greedy breeders who make-up breed names like "Miniature Clydesdale” and now "Calynche Horse", all made-up breed names, intended to deceive people into thinking that inbred small Shetland ponies are somehow rare and expensive.

Here are some of the Calynche horse scammers.

Many extreme Calynche horses may suffer from congenital dwarfism, and they need super-expensive health care and surgery just to survive:


Greedy breeders don't care if the ponies suffer

Some of these miserable dwarf ponies are bred on purpose, causing extreme suffering. I adopted a deformed dwarf, and he had to use a wheelchair, all because of some greedy Calynche dwarf breeder:


Breeding for dwarfism should be a felony

If you find someone peddling a dwarf Calynche horse, contact your local police to file a fraud complaint and also contact your society of prevention for cruelty to animals. Deliberately breeding for dwarfism and congenital defects should be publishable by long prison terms. . .

If you can stand to see suffering ponies, check out this web site dedicated to horse dwarfism.

Don't support these evil Calynch horse dealers.

Income demographics of aging baby boomers

Many a frugal baby boomer is reaching the height of their incomes (ages 40 to 60), and according to income statistics, there are 12 million American millionaires (measured as any person having over $1m in assets, not counting their primary residence).

With housing prices remaining high, I often wondered who buys these new mega-homes. In my area, a upscale home in a gated neighborhood will set you back over a million dollars:



But the distribution of millionaires by State is quite interesting, with Hawaii having twice the per-capita wealthy as West Virginia. This link has some interesting data on 2006 income levels, organized by State:

Plotted, it looks like this:



For more on the changing demographics of the aging baby boomers, see my notes on the Billionaire Next Door. So far as I know, only one of my High school classmates is a billionaire, but just about everyone who got an advanced degree has earned over a million dollars in their careers:



When studying the projected earnings from an advanced college degree, I was surprised to learn that with inflation, the majority of yuppies will become millionaires.

But how much is a college degree worth? High school graduates can expect, on average, to earn about $1.2 million dollars in lifetime income, while those with a bachelor's degree earn an average of $2.1 million over a 40 year working lifetime.

Today, only one-in-a-million Americans is a billionaire, with less then 500 USA billionaires.

Monday, January 19, 2009

British go nuts over eating Squirrels

Squirrel and other varmints have been a staple of redneck cuisine for years, but now those Europeans have now discovered our treats. Everybody loves squirrel, but you have to admit, it's messy and the meat falls off of the bones.

Rednecks love gourmet squirrel, pre-chopped, seasoned just right to bring out the natural squirrely flavor, and served-up in its own butt.



This article reports that British people will give their left nut for squirrels and they eating these tasty tree rats in huge numbers. (It’s just a rumor that British people like squirrel because their jagged teeth are perfect for picking the meat from the squirrel bones.)

But it’s clear, the country that brought the world spotted dick and pork faggots now have a new delicacy:

“British bon vivants suddenly couldn't get enough squirrel. Television chefs were preparing it, cookbooks were extolling it, farmers' markets were selling out of it and restaurants in many places were offering it on the menu.”

And when you’re done eating the squirrel, they can be mounted into an attractive wall ornament:



We all remember this article in the New York Times titled Kentucky Doctors Warn Against Eating Squirrels' Brains, where they note that squirrel brains can cause a fatal variant of Mad Cow Disease, known around here as “Mad Squirrel Disease”, and at least six people have died.

It's no joke, there is a moratorium on eating squirrel brains in North Carolina, and many a redneck has had to switch to less desirable organs.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

The cost to rent a cruise ship

People ask "how much does it cost to rent a cruise ship"?

We know someone who arranges the rental of large cruise ships, and the price for a 4,500 passenger ship (in this case, the Royal Caribbean Liberty of the Seas) rents for 9 million dollars per week (in 2007), plus a bar tab of three million dollars.

If you can get 4,000 paying customers you can make millions of dollars in profits by renting a whole cruise ship, but the risks are also high.

There are cruise ship rentals to suit every budget, anywhere from 2 million dollars per day down to $9.95 for a redneck cruise ship:


Redneck riverboat cruise ship rentals

See my full notes on redneck cruises here.

U.S. Army comic book manuals!

The U.S. Army published a comic book manual titled “Preventative Maintenance Monthly”, an extremely well done Army Manual disguised as a comic book. It’s written by men, for men, can you tell?


The baudy Army comic book manual!

You can buy these Army Comic books here on eBay. Here are some sample pages from this comic book manual. It’s sort of like those Sad Sack cartoons:


Sad Sack - The WWII Army Standard reading

It’s like the “Manja Guide to Database Management” where a fairy teaches you database:


Learn Database from a fairy!

With Johnny Bunko, this may be the future, graphic novels for technical matter.


Technical information in comic book form - The wave of the future?


I really like this Vietnam-era Armt Manual on caring for your M16-1A. The title is "treat your rifle like a lady", and the pages on“ How to strip your baby!” are quite funny!



But the point is that people are visual critters, and illustrated manuals are a great idea, especially for highly technical information . . .

Friday, January 16, 2009

Jumping maggot cheese

I’ve eaten many strange sthings, and I've heard of "inhabited” cheese, delicacies with live critters inside, but this cheese is almost beyond belief, Casu marzu cheese, which contains live leaping maggots, yum:


Leaping maggot cheese

Hey, it’s on Wikipedia as maggot cheese, so it must be true. The maggots are quite good jumpers too, and you must shelter your eyes, while eating the maggot larvae alive:

“Because the larvae in the cheese can launch themselves for distances up to 15 centimetres (6 in) when disturbed, diners hold their hands above the sandwich to prevent the maggots from leaping into their eyes . .

The larvae have powerful mouthhooks which can lacerate stomach linings or intestinal walls as the maggots attempt to bore through internal organs”


This maggot cheese should be reported to the cheese enforcement agency:



Thanks Boing Boing!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Presidential pardons

It’s only a few days until the executive branch changes hands. When the parties exchange power, they start all sorts of gerrymandering; passing last-minute measures, all intended to keep their positions intact. Every year the president pardons one turkey or another:


Plan on Bush pardoning a bunch of turkeys on January 19th

Presidents even pardon other presidents, as when Gerald Ford pardoned Richard Nixon:


Pardon me? I guess "The King can do no wrong" . . .

On the last day of a presidents’ last term, they pardon all sorts of convicted felons. Here is a history of presidential pardons, by year:


A history of presidential pardons - 1789-2001

I’ve never fully understood why the founding fathers wanted this, and why they chose to give this power to the president.

Well, I can sort of understand it; George Washington was a world-away from George Bush.

Outgoing president Bush says that he will not pardon anyone who has not yet served out their sentence, but January 19th should be a very interesting news day.