Languages with the longest words

While nobody has ever calculated the average length of words, it’s commonly believed that the Welch language has the longest words:


Welsh town names are long words!

The Welsh is even longer than German, where they paste many words together into a single large word.

- Datenbanknen = database
- Gepäckaufbewahrungsschein = luggage check ticket
- Hoechsgeschwindigkeitsbegrenzung = maximum speed limit

But I have a new contended for the world’s longest words. The folks in Greenland folks speak Greenlandic, noted for super-long words, a real mouthful.


A sample of long words in Greenlandic

There are long words on their web sites too:


Long words on a Greenlandic web site

I suppose we will never know what language has the longest words, but don't rule out Greenlandic!

Eskimo Medicines

I was in Greenland recently and I was impressed with the hardiness of the local Inuits, folks who thrive in very harsh conditions, extreme cold, poor farming, and most of all, relations with the Danish. The Eskimo kids seem to enjoy the freezing cold, in no need of medicine:


Hardy and Happy Kids

Somehow, the Greenlanders manage to grow taters during their short summer season:


Eskimo potato farmer

I also came across this is a store, medicine for Eskimo kids:


Medicine for eskimo kids?

I’m not sure if this is for Eskimo kids or if “Eskimo” is a brand name . . .

Drinks at the Copenhagen Ice Bar

The latest "cool" fad for young folks is a visit to the “ice bar”, a place to chill-out and have a few drinks. We visited the ice bar in Copenhagen, great fun.


Ice bars are the latest fad in Europe

The drinks are served in ice cups, and don’t throw them away, as they cost $10 each to replace!


Ice drinks served in ice cups!

Is the ice bar the wave of the furure?

A frosty reception at the ice bar

The ice bar is sponsored by a vodka dealer, but sponsorship is not required as the ice bar appears to be self supporting! The ice bar in Copenhagen cost about $100 for two people, two drinks each.

They throw animal skins on the seats, which are a tad hard, but what do you expect for ice?


Seats at the ice bar are hard as ice

They also have an Ice hotel in nearly Sweden, for those who want the frosty experience above the Arctic Circle.


The ice hotel in Sweden - No half naked Swede babes here

The proponents claim that the ice bar and ice hotel concept is taking off, but time will tell if the ice bars get a frosty reception in America. They just opened a ice bar in Orlando, a nice place to chill out on a hot afternoon.

See my full notes on the Ice bar phenomenon.

Eating guinea pigs

Eating guinea pigs is not for the squeamish, but any old redneck who has eaten squirrel and possum should have no trouble eating guinea pigs when visiting Peru and Ecuador:


For peak flavor, get them before rigor mortis kicks in

Eating a guinea pig requires that you disassociate yourself from the obvious body parts and try not to think about the specific part of the guinea pig that you are eating.

When eating a guinea pig you see an amazing transformation. Some restaurants have a “Cuy” (pronounced coo-ey) pen where you can pick out your very own dinner:


Before: Cute and furry:

Just a few minutes later, he is transformed into a eating delight, crispy on the outside and juicy inside:


After: Crispy and delicious

It’s sort of like eating squirrel, served in its own body:


Country gals love fresh squirrel

See my full note here on eating guinea pigs.

Amsterdam pot smoking

I was in Amsterdam recently, a very cosmopolitan city, drop-dead gorgeous and great fun. There are people from every conceivable culture in Amsterdam, and it's great fun to meet people from foreign lands:



The Dutch have a super liberal society! After seeing some of the local the skanks from a red light district tour, we got a tour of the coffee houses where sales of Marijuana is “tolerated”.

We don't speak Netherlandish, so we needed a tour, and we hired a real hippie to give us a tour and explain how the coffee houses operate!



Mr. Hippie explained that while Marijuana remains illegal, it is “tolerated” in the coffee houses, where they sell pot like cigarettes. It’s sold either loose of in pre-rolled packs like cigarettes:



The coffee houses are well-lit and friendly, not scary at all. They smell funny, but that's just the mix of stale hippie and pot smoke:


The Bull Dog coffee house in Amsterdam

If marijuana is ever legalized, I suspect that the pot cigarettes would look something like theirs, small things, only about two inches long:


Machine-generated Marijuana cigarettes

I thought that it was ironic that such an obiedient and rule-based society whould be so liberal and it does lead to some ironic situations.


You may only smoke pot here, please!

One of the biggest surprises was how much Amsterdam is like California, where you can openly smoke illegal drugs, but you will be chastised for smoking a cigarette! Here is a picture of a no smoking sign in an Amsterdam coffee shop:



The Dutch are a very rule-oriented people, as we learned one day when we boarded a train and received a lecture of train rules from the conductor! In this case, I actually witnessed a poor woman who dared to light a tobacco cigarette in a room full of pot smoke! She was severely chastised!


I thought that this was the ultimate irony, given that second-hand pot smoke is a leading cause of Hippies.


See my full notes here on Amsterdam coffee house debauchery.

A Pandemic of pan flute bands!

If you recall my posting on fake Indian pan flute bands invading Europe, it appears that the “Pan”demic has spread to America.

Last night South Park (a great source of current events), noted that there is an American invasion of fake Peruvian pan flute bands.



So, who are these people, bold enough to annoy the entire western world? Upon closer inspection, it’s clear that they are not Native Americans:



It appears that it’s a concerted effort, and the “actors” will portray whatever culture is the most likely to get them tips. Could they really be Peruvians, dressed-up like North American Indians?

Take a closer look.


Here is a shot I took in Ireland a few weeks ago:



It’s really hard to tell who these people are, especially if they are truly South Americans posing as Indians. I’m reminded of the genetic diversity of my Peruvian friends, and I even got this picture from one of their T-shirts:



The pan flute music amplified to 400 decibels is beyond annoying and you can hear it for half a mile away. It's like Zamfir on a bad acid trip:



It’s clear that I’m not the only one who is annoyed by this pan flute band invasion and it remains to be seen what can be done to stop them . . . .

See my full notes here on the pan flute band invasion of America. . . .

The best aircraft cockpits

What are the coolest cockpits? There are huge differences in visibility, comfort, but there are some amazing ones.

As a licensed puddle-jumper pilot, I always like cockpit layouts, especially the giant spacious cockpits with a great view.


The origin of the word "cockpit"?

Here are my votes for the top cockpits in American aircraft:

C-130 - The Lockheed Hercules (the “herky bird”) has a amazing cockpit. They are still in use today, and have a great field of vision.


C-130 cockpit, amazing visibility

The Spruce Goose – Howard Hughes giant transport had a custom cockpit designed by Howard himself:


Howard spent a fortune designing the cockpit

B36 - The B-36 was the world’s largest bomber, a xx engine pusher, with optional jets. I got a change to go inside a B-36 fuselage in Socorro New Mexico, and the view is amazing. It’s like a B-29, except twice as large.


The B-36 Cockpit - all-around visibility

Funny halloween costumes for dogs

Halloween costumes for dogs are stupid but you have to laugh!

Halloween is going to the dogs, and you too can make your dog look ridiculous, plus make a statement about your personal state of mental health:



This site offers a wealth of dog halloween costomes to embarrass yourself and your pet:



Don’t miss this list of pictures, Pictures of Halloween costumes for dogs.

Indian pan flute bands invade Europe

The summer of 2008 saw a massive exodus of phony Indians, invading almost all of the major European cities! Here are some fake Indians in Belfast:


A little something from every tribe!

We encountered phony Indian's in London, Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Dublin and Belfast, and they appear to have the same outfitters, as they all have the same native American crap, skulls, dream catchers, you name it. Most of it looks like it came from a Stuckey's in Arizona. . .


Evidently, Europeans love this crap.

As for the phony Indians, imagine the Frito Bandito, wearing a Sioux head dress, banging on an Inuit drum, doing a Hopi dance, all of the tune of Peruvian Inca flute song!


Since when are flutes a native Ameroican instrument?

Words cannot describe these goofs. You can hear the racket blocks away, long before you see the fake Indians. The cheesy phony "Indian" music sounded like Zamfir's playing his pan flute on Peyote, amplified to 2,000 decibels, truly offensive at every conceivable level. The sound makes your ears bleed.

I grew up in New Mexico which is one-third Indian, and I'm 1/8 Cherokee myself. I know an Indian when I see one, and this ain't no Indian.



See my full notes on Phony Indians invade Europe!

Anus removal with "Butt Out"

I was at the Wal-Mart today, and I came across this fine product, “Butt Out” a $7.95 tool for quickly removing the anus from a deer butt:


Quick and easy anus removal

The anus removal is a critical aspect to proper redneck butt art, a great holiday activity for the whole family. When preparing a deer butt alien head the old fashioned way (from scratch), it's important to tie off the anus with a piece of string so that the white tail area does not become soiled with deer doo-doo when you cut-open your treasure.

You need to carefully open-up your deer, starting right above the groin. Once the incision is made you will need to tie-off the anus again, from the inside, and then sever the large intestine right above the tie.

Next, cut the deer's throat, severing the deer's neck all the way back to the spine. This will disconnect the arteries and throat from the head.

Now, all you need to do is simply cut open the gut upwards to the rib cage and watch junior's delight when all the innards come-out in one piece!


Fine butt art from the private collection of Donald K. Burleson

Hunting season starts soon, and I like my deer alive, so I bought me a can of this stuff, pure deer pee, in an aerosol spray:



It’s made from deer’s in season (don’t ask how they collect it), but it brings the bucks running.

I plan to start my own deer sanctuary this year . . . .

The world's best Huevo's Ranchero's!

Huevos Rancheros (literally "ranch eggs") was one of the first real fusion cuisines, born of the culinary marriage between the Spanish Conquistadors and the Native Americans. Much of what is labeled "Mexican" food is a variation of several regional cuisines (i.e. Tex Mex), and the New Mexico fusion of Indian and Mexican foods are beyond compare.

Best of all, you can get the ingredient's by mail order:


Monroe's mails chile worldwide (505-881-4224)

While there are several variations on a theme, real Huevos Ranchero's consist of a homemade tortilla (usually a flour tortilla), smeared with refried beans, covered with eggs of your style (I use omelet style), and smothered with read or green chile and sharp yellow cheddar cheese.

(WARNING - Putting salsa on Huevos Rancheros is a California invention, and it's a serious crime in some areas of Texas and New Mexico).



It's not hard to make world-class Huevos Rancheros at home, provided that you order the right ingredients:

- Chile - Chile (not Chili) is those wonderful peppers grown only in the field's surrounding Hatch New Mexico. In late summer, you can buy the fresh green chile in 50 lb. bags at any New Mexico Supermarket, and they roast then on-site, with the wonderful smell of roasted chile in the air. The fresh Green Chile's are hard to transport, but the second best option for world's best Huevos Rancheros is the jar version sold at Monroe's. Not too hot and full of flavor, New Mexico chile is the best in the world.

- Refries - Most folks like real homemade pinto beans with their Huevos Rancheros, but they don't like the work. The pintos must be soaked and cooked with smoked ham hocks for that original smoky flavor. If you not inclined to do the beans from scratch, canned refried beans are acceptable, but you need a drizzle of bacon grease to give then that homemade smoky flavor.
Homemade tortillas - Making your own flour tortillas is not difficult, just use lard, flour. Se here for flour tortilla recipe.

- Eggs - Some folks like their Huevos scrambled, others sunny-side up, but I prefer cooking them omelet style, frying the eggs in bacon grease until they are crispy on the outside and fluffy inside.

This was mny breakfast today, true ambrosia:


Janet makes the world's best Huevos Rancheros

Read Janet's complete notes on making the world's best huevos rancheros:

worlds_best_huevos_rancheros!

The King of The United States: America's King Paul I

This article in Newsweek is quite interesting, tracing the line that would have resulted if George Washington had accepted the throne of the USA when offered:


George and Paul (John & Ringo not shown)

“Paul Emery Washington is a descendant of George Washington, our nation's first president and perhaps the only man in history who turned down the position of monarch.”

More Redneck innovation

My new friend Jake in Canada sent me these gems describing redneck innovation.
Rednecks are consummate innovators, pragmatists who can “make do” with very little resources.

Rednecks can make-do with limited resources

This is a real picture, not shopped, showing how a good ole boy can keep cool without paying for those fancy store-bought car air conditioners:



And I like this one, the redneck smoke detector:



These photos illustrate the great innovative skills of the American redneck!

Thanks Jake!

Bermuda golf tips

For the busy executive, Bermuda makes a great getaway, less than a 2 hour flight from any of the airports on the east coast.

Best of all, Bermuda remains very warm! Even though it is at the same latitude as
North Carolina, it’s about ten-fifteen degrees warmer than the east coast. Some adventurous folks even take their boats there:



The beaches are really pink, colored by red coral debris. Bermuda has great scuba dicing and snorkeling, really nice:



There are some places that rent segways, a fun way to get around:



Many of the professional length golf courses on Bermuda are intimidating to hackers and beginners:



Our favorite Bermuda golf spot is the Bermuda Southampton Golf course, a fun and amazing par-3 course, nestled right against the ocean:



For more, see my notes on Bermuda Travel tips and my notes on hacker golf in Bermuda.