COBOL for the 21st Century

I have been a proficient COBOL programmer since 1981.

While the kiddies slam COBOL as Grandpa's language, it's the first true object-oriented language, supporting polymorphism, inheritance and encapsulation.

Even as of 2010, COBOL processes more data than any other procedurel language.

I Like the simple syntax, a true 4GL, easy to read and as powerful as C++:

MOVE SPACES TO PLACES;
ADD GIN TO VERMOUTH GIVING MARTINI;

This book, COBOL for the 21st Century says it all, a top-selling Amazon computer book:



It's in it's 10th edition, and it sells like hotcakes . . . .


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Manhattan's potters field!

Creepy! There are zillions of dead people on this tiny island in the East river:
Via tywkiwdbi

Andy Burleson and the Charming Youngsters live on NBC!

From the Raleigh NBC TV station, Andrew Burleson plays bass guitar with the Charming Youngsters . . . I'm so glad my son's MBA degree is paying off . . . Below, "Sessions at Studio B" with The Charming Youngsters

Felony arrests for “link farm” web sites!

I detest deceptive web sites that reproduce hyperlinks to my articles and then re-sell the hyperlinks to their victims.

Well, the Federal Government is now recognizing this as a crime, and they are finally making arrests!

Criminal Copyright violation arrests are now coming for those annoying web sites that steal content and re-publish it for a fee.

Check out the channelsurfing.net home page after being seized by the Feds . . .

The site was been seized by the Federal Government because it is a “Hoover”, a site that steals “teasers” and re-sells hyperlinks to copyrighted content of other web sites, content that is available for free with a simple Google search:

“This domain has been seized by ICE - Homeland Security Investigations, Special Agent in Charge, New York Office."

"It is unlawful to reproduce copyrighted material, such as movies, music, software or games, without authorization...

First-time offenders convicted of a criminal felony copyright law will face up to five years in federal prison, restitution, forfeiture and fine”

Read the story here about how creating sites that re-sell hyperlinks to copyrighted content is a crime:

When Hyperlinking becomes a crime.

Asking a dog for directions

This is a great gag, only possible in Canada:


Find more videos like this on PetBrags Pet Lovers Paradise: Pet Community for All Pets

Making it official!

Making it official!

The world’s most popular YouTube video!

This video has over 44,000,000 views!

WARNING: Cute overload:

Understand Windows Firewall architecture

A picture is worth a thousand words:

The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz!

This is a real book title: "The ass goblins of Auschwitz"

I must give it points for being an intriguing title . . .

The sexuality of Native American Women

My wife Janet uses Ancestry.com , an absolutely amazing tool for consolidating genealogy research!

Yesterday she was excited to discover that her great-great-Grandma was a Cherokee!

Most of the Burleson’s in NC have some Indian blood because we have been in American since the 1600’s. and my own Great Grandma, Sara Page was an Indian squaw.

The Cherokee Indians are of European ancestry anyway, (nobody has yet to explain why the first British colonists noticed that the Cherokee had blue eyes!),

I predict that future DNA studies will show that the Native American’s of the eastern seaboard are descendents of the Viking that landed in the 9th century AD.

Why did Colonial American men choose Indian Wives?

Sociological data is interesting because it shows unexplained trends in inter-marriage.

Just as today’s mulatto children are far more likely to have a black father than a black mother, a similar trend was present in colonial America.

In all of my research I have seen dozens of cases where an Anglo man falls in love with an Indian squaw, but it was quite rare to see a case where an American Indian Male sired a child with a Anglo woman.

I have a theory about this phenomenon, and I believe that white guys chose Indian women for two reasons:

- Physical attractiveness: Many of the English settler's daughters were beaten by the ugly stick, seriously ugly when compared to the Indian maidens.

- More relaxed sexual mores: American Indian women were not prudish. They enjoyed recreational sex, whereas the Purtian women only reproduced as a duty.

It does not take much anecdotal evidence to back-up my theory, just take a gander at any British woman and see for yourself:





Reproduction with a British woman requires special equipment and lots of whiskey.

I’m told that many desperate used a paper bag for their head, to prevent the gag reflex.

Watch out for people who take things literally!

People who take things literally are as annoying as people who transpose instructions:



And people how do things backwards:

If condoms had sponsors!

Very clever, "If condoms had sponsors":

The best 22 caliber target ammo

Finding the best 22 caliber target bullet for your rifle requires through testing.

I did a heap of ammo testing with my three top 22 caliber target rifles:

- CZ-452 Luz: 22 bolt action
- Savage 64: With telescopic sight
- Enfield Model 1917: No magazine 22 sniper training rifle



Every 22 target rifle has a specific “taste” for bullets, and testing with a bench rest and scope at 50 yards is the only reliable way to see what your 22 rifle likes to eat.



In my tests, the ballistic characteristics of the best ammo for a 22 caliber target rifle was simple:

- Low velocity 22 ammo is better: Without exception, the “low velocity”, “subsonic” and “standard velocity” 22 bullets shot tighter groups.

- Expensive is better than cheap: More expensive 22 bullets consistently shot tighter groups with less “flyers”. You get what you pay for.

See my notes on the best 22 caliber target bullets

Collecting WWII souvenirs

It’s sad that less than 10% of those who fought evil in WWII are still alive (the greatest generation), and I hate to see their treasured WWII souvenirs sold as commodities.

I have started collecting their war spoils in the hope that future generations will understand and respect the huge sacrifices they made, in the name of freedom:

WWII Japanese Prayer Flags

These signed Japanese flags are properly called Yosegaki flags. Yosegaki means “gathered writing” in Japanese. When the Kanji appears on the Japanese red dot national flag (the rising sun, or “meatball” flag), the prayer flag is properly called Hinomaru (sun orb flag) Yosegaki.



An original WWII prayer flag in excellent condition has a 2010 value of $200.

Beware of fake Japanese prayer flags.

A real Japanese prayer flag will have fixing and holes because it is 70 year-old silk.

Flying Tigers blood chits

A "blood chit" was a note stitched to the backs of American pilots to tell the Chinese that they were friend and not foes.

Just like with Americans say about Asians, the Chinese could distinguish foreigners "they all look alike"

Original WWII Flying Tiger Blood Chit



The Kanji text in the above pictured chit says in English:

"This foreign person has come to China to help in the war effort.

Soldiers and civilians, one and all, should rescue, protect, and provide him with medical care."

American Indian and India Indian Swastickas

Evidently, this history of the Swastika say that the Swastika was in use for 3,000 years before it became the symbol of evil in the mid 20th century.

This is a 1941 photo of my Dad in New Mexico in his snazzy Ford Model A convertible, the Cat’s Meow.

Notice the swasica’s on the borders of the photo!


A 1941 Photo with Hopi Indian Swastika border

New Mexico Hopi Indians used the Swastika, and I noticed an India Indian magazine with a picture of Buddha with swastika on it:


Buddha with a Swastika

Evidently, the Swastika was independently created by many cultures across the globe:



In India, the Swastika is the symbol of good luck:



Sadly,a failed Austrian housepainter stole the symbol and made thye Swastika the universal symbol of evil:




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Accident prone people are dangerous to all!

Psychiatrists say that there is no such thing as an “unlucky person” and that accident prone people bring-on their own accidents.


Even dogs can be passive aggressive

Some people are just plain “bad news”, and they have a subconscious need to self-destruct and take others with them.

There is no such thing as "an accident" to a passive aggressive person, it all deliberate, even though it is often subconscious. . .


Accident prone people are passive-aggressive

I knew a girl who once “accidentally” dropped valuable antique because she was mad at the owner about an unrelated issue. Even though it was clearly aggressive, she truly believed in her conscious mind that it was an accident.

I detest passive aggressive people!

Passive aggressive people are cowards. They are wimps, afraid to give their name or take responsibility for their acts.

They attack anonymously, real jerks!

Collecting vintage 1911 A1 military pistols

Nothing beats the old Colt 45 handguns, a work of art. . .

They were first produced back in 1909 specifically to kill Muslim terrorists!

They would charge the American soldiers with machetes, and the old 39 revolvers could not kill them before they hacked the Americans.

That changed with the Model 1991 Colt 45, which will blow the terrorist off their feet, stopping them cold!



They were made to "mil" (military) specs, and even after 70 years, they still shoot great.

These are the perfect investment handguns because you can stil shoot them and they appreciate over time!

Here is a great guide to identifying the 1911 pistols by their serial numbers.

Used tampons & condoms for sale?

I can see how this happens, when online stores also offer vendors selling used merchandise:

Testing for the best ammo for 22 caliber rifles and pistols

Part of the fun of having your own rifle range is testing different types of ammo under controlled conditions.


We built a 300 yards firing range out on the back 40

Janet is really getting into target shooting and we are hiring a former Secret Service agent to teach us sniper skills.

We are also hoping to complete the NRA high-powered rifle qualification.


Janet is a crack shot!

We both love assault rifles, but shooting a supersonic bullet is huge fun!

Last week, Janet hit a pop bottle at 200 yards, the length of two football fields!


Janet is lethal with her AR-15 assault rifle

We are too old to see at 200 yards using an iron sight, so we “cheat” and mounted a telescopic sight on our AR-15:


Telescopic sights allow elderly people to kill home intruders at up to 400 yards

Ballistics testing of 22 target guns

We tested many types of 22 caliber target rifles and 22 target pistols using a bench rest at 50 yards.



Janet is getting quite deadly with her handguns, a crack shot:


Don't mess with Janet when she is packing her 357 magnum

In our tests for the best bullets our rifles and pistols we learned a few general principles about 22 ammo:

- Low velocity ammo is great for rifles, not so great for 22 handguns: The “low velocity”, “subsonic” and “standard velocity” 22 bullets shot tighter groups fir 22 rifles (CZ-452 and Savage 64).

- Expensive ammo has better consistency: The more expensive 22 bullets consistently had fewer duds, misfires and less “flyers”. You get what you pay for, and duds and flyers are important if you must kill on the first shot.

We have documeted our ballistics tests here in the hopes of helping other gun enthusiasts:

See our full notes on testing for the most accurate ammo for a Savage model 64 target rifle.

See our full notes on testing for the most accurate ammo for a CZ452 target rifle.

See our full notes on testing for the most accurate ammo for a CZ452 target rifle.

See our full notes on testing for the most accurate ammo for a Ruger Mark V target pistol.

Freudian slip examples

A Freudian slip was first described in Sigmund Freud’s 1901 book “The Psychopathology of Everyday Life”.

It’s a truly boring book, BTW . . .

A Freudian slip is a verbal mistake that is reflects unconscious issues, like repressed memories or trauma. Here are some examples:



Freud believed that there is no such thing as an “accident” and slips directly reflected deeply repressed issues, emotions buried deep in the subconscious mind.

Bushism’s are great examples of Freudian slips:



President Bush reportedly said in a speech he was giving to a group of teachers “I'd like to spank all teachers.” We guess that he wanted to say “thank” all the teachers


Freudian Slips

I like this old Freudian slip joke:

"I accidentally said to my wife, 'I hate you. You have ruined my life and I want a divorce!' Of course, what I meant was, 'Pass the salt, dear.'"


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Are black men really more “well endowed”?

It may be racist, but there are studies that show physical differences by race, including this biazrre one on the lengths of mens dicks:

Historical records of phsiology

"It is generally said that the penis of the Negro is very large," so
wrote German anthropologist Johann Friedrich Blumenbach in 1795.

"And this assertion is so far borne out by the remarkable genitory
apparatus of an Ethiopian which I have in my anatomical collection."

Louis Jacolliet, a 19th century French writer who spent three decades
investigating penis size, had this to say:

"In no branch of the human race are the male organs more developed than in the African Negro."
. . .

"Going strictly by the Kinsey data, which still remains one of the most
exhaustive studies on penis size to date, the average white male has a
penis measuring 6.2 inches long and 3.7 inches around, whereas the
average black male has a penis 6.3 by 3.8 inches."

Does Size Matter?

It’s an urban legend that women prefer men with large schlongs:

I heard a woman joke to me once saying “Once you try black you never go back!”

So, is it true that black people are well-endowed then us crackers?



I happen to know a physician who does zillions of physical exams and he says he has examined thousands of wangs over the decades and that it’s true!

There are racial differences in penis size, at least in the population of African Americans. (The doctor noted that the US sample may be skewed because British and American slaves were selected solely because of their physical characteristics.

The doctor reports that American black males do indeed have larger members, on average, about one inch longer than Caucasian guys.

The doctor also noted that males with longer member tended to have higher serum testosterone values in blood tests.

Truck nuts!

Check out the latest redneck fad, truck nuts.

It takes balls to add truck nuts to your car.

When you see a car wearing truck nuts, it definitely makes a statement about the owner . . .

Hirohito’s Arabian horse scam!

I was watching a WWII documentary and I noted that Japanese emperor Hirohito rode a stunning white Arabian horse.

(Actually, a young grey Arabian looks white until about age 16, when they turn grey and get freckles).


Horohito's amazing white Arabian stallion

Hirohito's white Arabian horse worthy of an Emperor, clearly an Arabian horse of ancient pedigree and noble lineage, Crabbet breeding, I'll bet on it!

His name may have been Hatsu Shimo, meaning “first frost” in Japanese.

Hirohito must have been tiny, since his Arab looks to be less than 15 hands tall:

Because I have owned dozens of Arabian horses, I immediately recognized the conformation of the Arabian by its level croup, long neck and short face as possible Crabbet breeding, like the famous “Raffles”


The legendary Raffles

Although the Crabbet style Arabians have fallen from favor in the show ring, they are the most beautiful horses in the world IMHO, with cute short faces and stunning looks. Our stallion “Tha Dude” has the Crabbet conformation, stunning with his black color and four high white socks::


Tha Dude, our prize winning black Arabian Stalion


The Hirohito horse scam!

In 1945, the New York Times reported an American junior officer (perhaps Lt. John Aldred or Lt. Dick Ryan of Albuquerque) had taken full possession of Emperor Hirohito’s Arabian horse, and in early January he transported the Arabian horse to the United States. Hatsushimo was allegedly sold to Lt. Ryan for only 1,000 yen ($63.00).

But that’s simply not true.

Hirohito kept his "true" stallion and offered up Hatsishimo's brother a gelding!

Egomaniac Admiral Hallsy bragged at the start of WWII that one day he would ride the Enperors horse through the streets of Tokyo!

What crap!

An Arabian stallion is tremendously hard to ride, for experts only!

I tried to ride Dude once and I lasted about three seconds before I was thrown. I was peeing blood for a week!

Here is Hallsy riding Horohito's impostor Arabian, possibly the gelded brother of Hatsushimo:


Admiral Halsey thinks that he was riding Emperor Hirohito’s Arabian horse!


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The Interpretation of dreams

When my wife was seven months pregnant she told me “I had the strangest dream last night”.

“I know”, I replied coyly. “You dreamt that you gave birth to a litter of puppies!”

Her jaw dropped and she said slowly “You scare me. How did you know that?”

In truth, I didn’t know, I just knew that this is the most common “strange” dream of late-term pregnant women.

As an undergraduate in psychology, I slogged through the Sigmund Fraud classis book “The Interpretation of Dreams”.

This book was the foundation for psychoanalysis and it is a wealth of information on repression and dreams.

In Freud’s day, the Victorian sexuality mentality ruled and dreams of trains travelling into tunnels were correctly interpreted as sexual repression!

Freud had a huge ego and his sign in his office said “Professor Doctor Freud”, as-if one title is not enough:



Eventually it led to the public mocking Freud for believing that “anything longer than it is wide is phallic”. Sometimes, a train is just a train . . .


Pink Freud

Other common dreams (and the underlying causes) include:

- Dreams about becoming naked in public

- Dreams about floating and flying

- Dreams about forgetting a final exam

Dog DNA and wolf ancestors

Humans created dogs from wolves and dog genome-wide SNP and haplotype studies on dog domestication show from DNA that dogs originated about 40,000 years ago from different races of gray wolves, namely the Middle Eastern wolf, the Chinese wolf, the North American wolf and the European wolf.

I highly recommend this TV show Man created Dog and Dog's Decoded a facinating show:

"Among the questions the episode explores are why dogs bark, when their predecessors, wolves, didn’t, and whether it’s a behavior that evolved so they could communicate with humans; why a hormone that humans release at birth to bond mother to baby is also released when humans interact with dogs, bonding us not just emotionally, but biologically; what makes dogs able to understand social cues, like pointing, that other animals cannot; and what clues dog DNA might hold to understanding the genetic causes of certain diseases."

Funny "I Want You" posters

Very creative!

Check out these funny "I Want You" posters

WWII - How to tell a Chinese friend from a Japanese Enemy

Americans in WWII were not very worldly.

in 1941, most Americans had never eaten Pizza or Chinese food and the wide world beyond the county line was a great mystery.

In short, they were simple rural hicks:


Me and Dan "hanging out" at the ranch

Todays farmers are much more worldly:



However, Rural Americans in WWII were terrible at distinguishing between Asian people, saying "they all look alike to me".

Even the beloved "Dr. Suess" parodied Japanese facial features:



Check out this article from LIFE Magazine in titled "How to tell Japs from the Chinese".

Today this would be terrible racist, but many rural Americans had never seen an Asian person, and it was a matter of life-and-death that they be able to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys:


How to identify a Japanese enemy


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