Yesterday we heard the dogs barking like crazy and discovered that the mini mares had broken the gate chain and got into the front yard with Smokey the stallion. . .
You see,more than 25 mares had come-in to season at the same time, and they were all "hot to trot" with Smokey. They were all backed-up to the fence, waving their fannies in his face, and driving poor ole Smokey crazy.
Well, Smokey must have thought that he had gone to heaven and gotten his 72 virgins. The chain broke and the mares were all over him. That's Janet in the picture below, chasing Smokey aware from his horny harem:
By the way, mares in-season are shameless sluts, spreading their legs for any stallion that comes along. Smokey did this two years ago and produced a filly, which we appropriately named "Smokey's Escapade", who we call Essey. Of course, Janet brings Mom inside the house to foal. . . .
Before that, Smokey fathered a full-sister to Essey which we named Rainey because she was born in our living room on a rainy night:
So, we are pretty sure that Smokey made love to at least one of the mares, so now I’m faced with two options: The fun of paying for 25 abortion shots, one for each mare (cost, $750). The fun of having another mare foal on our living room carpet (cost, priceless).
It's funny that groups of mares tend to sync-up their estrous cycles, just like groups of human women. There must be some evolutionary reason for this, but it did not do much for Smokey, since it would have taken him a week to breed all of those mares.
We have had above-normal rainfall this year and the ponies have been unable to keep up. The grass is now three-feet high and you can only see the tops of their backs when they are grazing. We are thinking of marking them with flags so we can find them: You know, a lot of people believe that the idea of using horses as guides is a new idea, but the concept has been addressed in movies for many years, some dating-back over half a century: Guide horses in moviesJanet has experienced great success at training ponies to live indoors for brief periods, even teaching them to sleep in beds: If any of your read the award-winning cartoon strip Non Sequitur, you might notice that Danae has a miniature horse (a “pygmy Clydesdale”) companion named Lucy. We were thrilled when Wiley featured a Lucy as a guide horse in his cartoon strip. Guide Horses in Non SequiturWhile we are in no-hurry to expand the Guide Horse Foundation beyond experimental status, we were thrilled to note that a guide horse user has declared that her horse is better than her dog, and she returned her dog to the Seeing Eye, preferring to use her horse: Guide Horses leading the BlindWe are also happy to see increased interest in our training method and we have been invited to meet Dr. Jane Goodall later this year to demonstrate the Guide Horse concept. Guide Horses are allowed to fly onside the passenger cabin of commercial airliners, and several of our ponies are now frequent flyers. The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) allows people to fly with emotional support animals, prompting some people to consider emotional support horses: Using emotional support horsesThere is also an explosion of interest in having mini horses as surburban pets, and Janet has an exciting new book on the subject: Miniature horses in the Neighborhood
I went out to feed ponies last night and their backs looked like their fur was moving! Lice, millions of lice have taken-up residence on them (lice are attracted to the light and come to the surface of the fur). Fortunately a 5-day course of Ivermectin will kill them all. Folks report a huge Raccoon in the pony stallion pasture, a big he-Coon, at least a 15 pounder. To me, Coons have absolutely no redeeming value. They stink to high-heaven, they taste foul, they eat your eggs and chickens, and they are mean, especially to dogs. Around here my neighbors have Coon-dogs, Beagle-like critters that tree the Raccoons, so you can shoot ‘em out of the tree at your leisure. These dogs hate raccoons mostly because the Coons don’t have any respect for them. Of course, I won’t like the vermin but I can't bear to kill them, so we have have-a-hart traps of every conceivable size to capture critters and relocate them to better neighborhoods. Speaking o’ Dogs
Janet’s friend Robin does dog shows with Rottweiler’s and she related a funny story to me. They wuz at Denny’s after a big dog show discussin a huge jet-black Rottie with a bad conformation fault in her croup. Just like Horse-show people, dog show people sit around and pick-apart their competitors faults, and at one point Robin exclaimed: “Did you see the butt on that big black bitch?”Well, Janet sez you coulda heard a pin-drop, and people all around Dennys stopped eatin’ to give her the evil eye! Robin had to explain to the whole room that they were dog show people, and they were talking about dogs, not people! It’s funny how real-world words can change meaning over time. Speakin’ o’ obsolete wordsAh remember my ole Aunt Sara and how she would use out-dated words. For example, when our son was a baby he screamed and ole Aunt Sara commented “My, my, what an ejaculation”. Heck, even as a kid I remember the theme song from the Flintstones “We’ll have a Gay Old Time”, and how that wording would not be PC today. For example, a few years back, I designed a miniature barn to go with the miniature horses that lived in it. As ole Aunt Sara would say, “What do you think of my magnificent erection?” Speakin’ o’ nasty wordsLast year my kids came back from East Carolina University raving about a perfesser who wuz teaching Greek and Latin. Now, I’d never heard of an interestin’ Latin class and I figured I’d better meet this guy. Doctor Steve Cerutti was one of the most popular professors on the ECU Campus, mostly because of this exciting class on word origins where he includes the origin of offensive and vulgar words, including some that I use every day. Wall, I had to meet Dr. Cerutti and we met at a restaurant in Greenville to discuss doing a book on word origins: The Words of the Day: The Unlikely Evolution of Common EnglishAnyway, me and Steve hit-it-off and I wuz thrilled to find-out that my filthy-mouth was now a legitimate area of academic research. We cussed and cursed with great pleasure and wild enthusiasm at dinner. See, Dr. Cerutti is an Ivy League dude (Duke), and even though he is well-published in academic books, he is concerned that his book does not come-off as too erudite. We’ve put one of his chapters online, and we invite anyone who is interested in word origins (who is over 18 and is not offended by profanity), to have a look and give him feedback: Nine Words (And A Fish) You Thought You KnewPlease send Dr. Steve your comments to mailto:info@rampant.cc?subject=Words%20book%20feedback
Janet and I decided to combine a visit to a book conference with a training mission for Scout. The Book Expo 2005 conference in New York City was one of the world’s largest book conferences with more than 2,000 exhibitors. Books are alive-and-well, and book sales in the USA are a multi-billion dollar a year industry. Because of the computer book slump, there were hardly any booths by technology publishers. Because we wore a technical publisher badge we were swamped by potential computer book authors, each hawking their book proposals. I must have a shoebox full of book proposals from aspiring computer book authors who want to get published. Click here to read details about our trip to Book Expo 2005Scout in the Big AppleWhile attending this mega-conference we decided to use the opportunity to take Scout with us to refine his traffic avoidance skills. It’s very easy to take a horse to New York City and there are many hotels that accept all animals, great-and-small. When doing charitable training, we have been amazed at the number of hotels that want to help, and we have had many major hotel chains donate our rooms. Click here to see a list of horse-friendly hotels in New York CityNative New Yorkers know that combining fantastic hot dogs with papaya juice is a culinary delight, and we had great fun munching dogs and chatting with the whores and crack heads at Gray's Papaya near Madison Square Garden. Scout is a bit of a show-off and he displayed himself a few times, but a quick tap and the command "put that back" kept him socially acceptable. Another treat was seeing Michael Creighton and meeting Laura Barnes, the author of the fantastic Ernest series of children’s books, a super-nice lady with a shared love of horses. Click here to read about Scout in New York CitySo, what’s going to be the hot books next year? We have a fairly good idea, but we always hold our cards close until the catalogs are published. As the boomers age-out and enter an age where they have high disposable income, many publishers are pursuing travel books. We also saw a huge interest in books about personal relationships. Here are some book title ideas we have for next year: - Finding the perfect man – Janet Burleson (This one was my suggestion) - Scuba diving for the middle-aged professional – Mike Ault - More “Insider Adventures” ™ travel books, focused on “safe” destinations From the mail bag:We have been getting e-mails asking about Lil orphan Annie, and I’m sad to report that she died quietly at 7 days-old in Penny's arms. According to Dr. O'Malley, Annie had signs of the “dummy foal” syndrome, most likely cause by oxygen depravation and head trauma. Penny was emotionally drained, devastated and she was crying uncontrollably at this unexpected loss. We also lost “Dixie”, a severely deformed dwarf that we rescued four years ago. Rescuing crippled, abused and neglected miniature horses is a sad business, and we do everything to ease their suffering and prosecute the offenders. Janet’s latest book Helping Hooves describes how we saved Traveler and prosecuted his heartless owner for cruelty to animals, including the death of Hidalgo, a foal that he starved to-death. Dixie’s story
We have a new orphan at the ranch, a 4 day-old preemie whose mother died during childbirth from dystocia. Penny brought “Lil Orphan Annie” to work with her because she requires constant attention and hourly feedings, day and night. Dr. Chris inserted a feeding tube and she is getting Foallac, an artificial mare’s milk. Annie was born a month early and Penny is nursing her back to health, but she is not out-of-the-woods yet. Poor Penny is bleary-eyed from waking-up every hour day-and-night to feed her and I’m very impressed with her dedication to saving the life of this helpless baby. Here is the whole story: Saving Lil Orphan AnnieThe next step is to get her nursing, and we are considering using Bluebell, a crippled dwarf with a heart of gold, who will bag-up and nurse any orphan baby: Here is Bluebell’s story: Bluebell the crippled dwarfWe also have new chicklets hatching by the hour. The hen nested in Sara’s feeding trough, and the sweet mare carefully ate around the hen for two weeks so as not to disturb her nesting. Sara is a Bask granddaughter with high-action, lot’s of chrome and a really sweet disposition: Chicks rarely survive here because of the predators. We are going to cage the chicks and hope that the snakes don’t get them. We have hawks, owls, and Irwin spotted a Coyote yesterday on the back 40. I was surprised to find-out that some genius has been re-establishing coyotes and releasing them by the dozen in Warren County. What was he thinking? Coyotes used to be classified as vermin, and even though I love animals, I have no qualms about killing any critter that threatens our ponies, so Mr. Coyote had best stay out of our pastures.
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