Fake peel and win stickers!

I wish I had thought of this, fake peel and win stickers! They even come with "no winners" that you can stick on your own drink to make it look legitimate!



I don’t eat in fast foodery’s, but this could still be great fun!

History of the new 2010 penny

I used to collect pennies, and somewhere I have the old large cent penny from the early 1800’s:



Then we saw the first small penny, the flying eagle penny from 1856 to 1858:



That was superseded by the Indian Head penny from 1859 to 1909



And then we had the “Wheat Cent” penny from 1909 to 1958:



Finally the Lincoln memorial penny from 1959 to 2009:



Then this issue, only for 2009:



After a half century, the first change since the “wheat penny” went away with the new “Union Shield” penny for 2010:

Job ad might offend unreliable people

Evidently a job ad asking for reliable English people might offend unreliable British people!

This article notes that a British job ad for somebody who is "reliable and hard-working", since it is offensive to unreliable British people:

"Devonwood Recruitment boss Nicole Mamo said the Jobcentre Plus in Thetford, Norfolk, told her such an advert could be "offensive" to unreliable people."

Cooking with Pooh!

This is so wrong:

Upside down celebrities!

I never thought that they could beat upside-down dogs, but here we go!



Check out Upside down celebrities, quite funny!


Hoo Dat?

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Medical pre existing conditions exist at birth?

My nephew was born with a serious medical condition and even though his parents were fully covered with excellent health insurance, they were told that his life-saving operations were not covered by health insurance because it was a pre-existing condition!

Because his parents were not low life and they worked hard for their money, my nephew could not get the free Medicaid giveaway and his family had to sell their home and move into a trailer for many years to pay off this bill!

Of course, poor folks only get the best of care, and we even pay for willful misconduct:


Do gluttons and addicts deserve health care?

Willful Misconduct should not be a disability!

Evidently, nothing has changed as this article notes parents whose newborn was denied medical coverage for in utero pre existing conditions!

I have mixed feeling on this issue. On one hand, taxpayers should not have to pay for a heart transplant for a 40 years morbidly obese smoker who mooches off of disability because he ate himself into a wheelchair.

In countries with socialized medicine like the UK they let alcoholics die if a transplant is not a good value for the money (e.g. a history of relapse).


British alcoholic dies rather than get free liver transplant

It's cold, but these are the practical medical decisions that doctorss truggle with everyday, determining who is "worthy" of expensive medical procedures . . .


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Beatles documentary from the year 3000!

History gets warped over time, as this clever video illustrates!

Beatles documentary from the year 3000

Bring back the Ugly laws!

It’s true, many cities had “Ugly Laws”:

“No person who is diseased, maimed, mutilated or in any way deformed so as to be an unsightly or disgusting object or improper person to be allowed in or on the public ways or other public places in this city, or shall therein or thereon expose himself to public view, under a penalty of not less than one dollar nor more than fifty dollars for each offense.”



The willfully ugly

While I find this horrible when applied to the disabled, the willfully ugly are a different story.

Dirty hippies, Europeans with British teeth and anybody with excessive body odor should be outlawed as “willfully ugly”:


Hippies should still be covered by ugly laws

It should also be illegal to look like a French person in public:


So ugly that it should be illegal

Which is correct creole? Who Diss or Who Dat?

Understanding Caribbean Creole

The spoken English of the Caribbean people is influenced by the Jamaican, Bahamian, Haitian and Dominican dialects, and many of the locals speak a Creole English with distinct Dominican and French influences.

Caribbean creole is clearly a different language to itself!

French speaking people can't understand the Haitian "Patois" and English-speaking cannot understand creole of the Bahamas, Virgin Islands and Turks & Caicos Islands.


Bahanian creole bears litle resemblence to English

Who Diss or Who Dat?

I was in an office building in the Caribbean and I heard someone ask over the phone “Hoo Diss”?

Caribbean Creole is often heavy contractions. For example, when they answer the telephone they say “Hoo diss?”

Axing “Hoo Diss?” is a contraction for “To whom am I speaking please?”

We also see the variation of "Hoo dat?"



In the Bahamas, Turks and Caicos Islands they have a special English Creole. It’s all English, but it’s been changed so much that it’s not recognizable as English at all!

The Creole varies widely, sometimes by island!

For example, on South Caicos Island, many of the islanders pronounce the “v” sound with a “w” as in:

“We walue our wictory” for “We value our victory”.

Other unique Turks and Caicos Islands Creole words include:

- Ax: You always Ax a question, never “Ask”.
- Buck: To meet/met. Example: “Ya Mon, I buck Joe at Hemingway’s”.
- Ga: Got. Example: “I ga a new shut”.
- Gee: To give, as in “I gee her a new shut”.
- I’een: A contraction for “I am not.” Example: “I’een going to Turtle Cove tonight”.
- Sak Passe: A Haitian greeting literally meaning “What's Up?”
- Shut: Shirt. Example: “Ya Mon, I like your shut”.
- Yeah Man: From the Jamaican “Ya Mon” phrase for “Yes”.
- Tree Man: As in “There are tree man at da store”.

For more on understanding Caribbean Creole, see my book “Turks and Caicos Insider Adventures”.

Downed WWII aircraft treasures in the South Pacific

I've been watching the amazing HBO mini-series "The Pacific" and I was reminded that there is a zillion dollars worth of cool stuff waiting to be salvaged from the jungles.

Before my father died he told me about treasure at was buried in Luzon and he also told me where some perfectly good vintage WWII bombers and fighters were ditched in the jungles of New Guinea, New Britain and the Solomon Islands.

The Japanese were a formidable enemy, and we lost a bunch of planes:



Back then you could buy a B-17 for less than 10 million dollars, but today you cannot get a B-17 at any price. The triangle between Mareeba airfield in Queensland Australia, Rabaul Harbor and Guadalcanal is littered with hundreds of WWII aircraft, some worth millions of dollars!

You have to admit, the B-17 is the most beautiful aircraft ever built:



My Dad, Louis Burleson was in the 30th squadron of the 19th bomb group which lost many planes, some which had to be ditched while still in great condition!

The Japanese ever flew some of them!


A B-17 captured by the Japanese


There is gold in them thar hills!

Those downed aircraft in the salt water are ruined, but those that crashed in arid regions are still intact, a real gold mine!

Just last month they hauled out the 30th squadron “Swamp Ghost” B-17 41-2446 from the 19th bomb group:


Salvaging the B17 "Swamp Ghost" from the jungle

It took a team months to haul her out, and it probably cost a small fortune, but this aircraft is a national treasure.

They have tried hard to account for all of the B-17’s but they missed a few, and I know where they are!

If you know where to look you can even see pieces from Google earth . . .

I finally found the 30th squadron patch from the 19th bomb group. It looks funky like something from the 1960’s:


The 30th squadron patch from the 19th bomb group (heavy)

I think it may be time to see if I have what it takes to salvage some of these historical treasures.

Bird feces facials now available!

This web site for a Japanese Spa in Santa Fe offers the deal of the decade for New Mexico morons.

For $155 they will smear bird poop on your face!



Swear to God, for money, some Japanese person will smear feces on your face:

“We are the exclusive importers of processed nightingale droppings, which have been used for centuries by geisha in Japan to brighten and smooth their skin.”



The trick to making people pay you to smear crap on their face requires special marketing:

"Uguisu no Fun's main effect - that being bleaching and exfoliating the skin - is a result of Guanine, a naturally occurring enzyme [sic] found in nightingale droppings."

But $115, that a lot of cash! Heck, I can do better than that!

Anybody who wants to be crapped on is invited to stop by the ranch.

Just lay a C note on me and I’ll find a critter that will be happy to crap on your face . . .


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Bloodhound Rejects Stinky britches!

The face on this bloodhound is priceless!

He is obviously does not want to smell what's been living in them panties:

Redneck menu generator!

I enjoy redneck foods, and I have dedicated some time to learning about country folk cuisine.


A redneck wedding cake

To learn more about redneck cuising, see this page. The Redneck menu generator" is lots of fun, try it!

This was done by a very creative person!

I love the "served in a hubcap of Cheetos!" reference!

I love these redneck menu offerin's:

- Rendered Squirrel with Muscadine Pork Cracklins
- Pit Barbecue Hedgehog in a hubcap of Cheetos
- Engine Smoked Coyote with Fatback Velveeta
- Kentucky Pork Belly Stew with Kentucky Okra
- Ozark Squirrel Pudding with Kettle Cooked Ditchweed
- Coffee Can Varmint Mush with Pit Barbecue Gravy

Gory Civil War photographs

The idea of "Shock jocks"like Howard Stern are nothing new, and taking shocking pictures is as old as photograpy itself!

Photography was brand-spankin new in the 1860’s and the photographers went to great lengths to offer-up disturbing war images to the public.



Check out this amazing collection of Civil War Photos.


Hanging a cowardly deserter

The mark of the beast! A bar code?

I was listening to a religious zealot who was talking about the “mark of the beast”, saying that it would either come in the forum of a tattoo on the forehead, or the mark would be embedded into a microchip!

A tattooed forehead is beastly, no doubt:



The bar code of the beast!

Maybe this is the bar code of the beast:



This video explains how a microchip could be the mark of the beast. It’s beastly!

Resveratrol causes nosebleeds

Beware! The miracle drug Resveratrol cause heavy bleeding, especially nosebleeds.

Resveratrol is a massive antioxidant and anti-aging drug that was shown at Harvard to increase your lifespan by 30%, and it’s even made my grey hair go away, amazing stuff!

But it has side effects, monster nosebleeds were you can lose a pint of blood!

See here on where to find real resveratrol.

I pronounce you a coward and a scoundrel!

Things have not changed much since 1839!

When somebody insults you, you just insult them back!

Me, I would like to see dueling come back . . .

The Humanzee

Everyone knows that a female horse Mare can be bred to a male donkey to produce a mule, but it’s interesting that horses and donkeys are genetically more distant than humans and chimpanzees.

According to the anonymous person who write this Wikipedia page, human Chimpanzee breeds have been done, and the offspring are called Humanzees.


A Humanzee: The Human Chimpanzee crossbreed?

Some people fear that cross breeding humans might create a race of Orwellian Proles, but one must wonder if advanced in genetic engineering might make this possible . . .

Best I can figure, a humanzee is something like French people crossed with Hippies. See the video below on humanzee breeding:



Of course, we all know that AIDS was originally a chimp disease, let's no go there . .

Anyway, somebody should make a movie about a Humanzee:



Oh, it looks somebody already made a Humanzee movie:




Genetic engineering for non human species

This page claims that human chimp breeding is possible and that interspecies breeding is indeed possible, and it opens up all sorts of possibilities.

Cross a cat with a dog

Imagine the possibilities of a cat/dog hybrid.

It's no problem to try this cross with natural cover, just find a Yorkie:



Here is what a cat dog cross might look like:


The cat-dog cross: The Cadog, or is it a Docat?


But some interspecies crosses would be even weirder . . .

The Easter Egg Cross

Ever wonder what a bunny has to do with easter eggs?

This would answer the question:

“Which came first? The Chicken or the egg?”



This would be an interesting hybrid, the coon dog:



Some dogs will breed anything:

Mayonnaise on french fries!

People get hardcore about what they dump on their French Fries.

There are places where fresh french fries are only sold with vinegar and ketchup is frowned upon, but who ever thought on using mayonnaise of french fries?

This should be illegal, mayo on fries . . .

This is from Madiera Portugal where they eat mayonnaise on fries!

Salt Lick towns!

Here in North Carolina we have lots of “lick” towns, name after a natural “salt lick”, a place with a natural salt outcropping where animals would go to lick their salt.

Critters come from miles around to lick salt

We buy salt by the ton for our 40+ horses and a used salt block is almost a work of abstract art:


Salt Lick abstract art worthy of the Guggenheim museum

My Burleson ancestors lived in Big Lick Township in North Carolina:




In NC we have the town of Lizard Lick:



But there are other lick towns too.

This church caught my attention:, I've never been to beaver lick:



And don't forget Big Bone lick, the largest lick town in Montana:



And how about a French Lick?



The French Lick name reminds of of the old joke. It does not translate well in writing, but spoken, itt makes sense:

Q: How does a Franch women hold her Liquor?

A: By the ears . . .