Saturday, March 08, 2008

Going Green with an electric Gem car

It’s time to start thinking green, as our huge pickup trucks now cost over $100 to fill-up.

“Ole Yeller” is our tried and true farm truck, a noble old lady, the ultimate sexy redneck car. I always get the pretty red neck gals giving me the eye when I drive this baby into town:

Redneck Chickbait: Ole Yeller

The girls just stop in their tracks and their jaw drops when they see me in Ole Yeller. You can tell that they find it very sexy. Can you believe that she still has her original paint?

Our F-350 even has two gas tanks, a true land barge, and the ultimate farm vehicle. It’s far larger than the biggest SUV:

Perception problems with going green

The problem is finding an electric car that is not seen as effeminate. Remember the Isetta mini car from the 1960’s? Very queer car, opening-up in the front:

The Prius, for example, has a reputation for being for gay (or at least “wussy”). In the noted South Park episode, we also see the perils of hybrid car owners being seen as “smug”, self-righteous hippie liberals who think that their own farts don’t smell bad.

Or worse yet, what if people think we are European? That would be too shameful to bear:

So, how do you “go green”, without being accused of being a Democrat? Me, I’ve always admired those animal-powered luxury cars, 100% green:

Our little Gem car is street legal, plus it’s also authorized for the golf course. However, there is no way I would drive this is my own neighborhood, it’s fodder for ridicule in redneck circles.

The Gem 4-seater can comfortable hold four people, with a top speed of over 40 MPH (But only if you remove the governor):

(L to R) Wynona, Ben, Jen1 and Don

It’s also hard to cherry-out a wimpy electric car, they look dumb no matter what you do, like the Smart Car, all weird, all the time:

Even the tried-and-true Isetta looks weird when customized:

And don’t even think about getting an electric car convertible. They look like a rolling bathtub: