Thursday, June 18, 2009

Kids bad spelling can get their parents jailed

Teaching spelling is critical skill for toddlers and elementary school children.

Most parents don’t know it, but a failure to teach spelling to your kids can get you thrown in jail.

Imagine what the teach thought when she got this homework assignment:

In this case, the little girl misspelled “tucks”.

Superfly - Obama swats fly like a Ninja warrior!

Gotta check this out, VERY impressive!

Obama has FAST reflexes, even my dog was impressed:

Let’s learn Spanish!

This is clever, titled "Spanish for your Nanny":

Brad Clayton triumphs against tragedy

Our good friend Brad Clayton was on TV last night, a great story about a saintly PGA pro who shares the story of how he lost is arm:

Overcoming adversity with golf

Brad is a PGA master professional and PGA teacher of the year for the Carolinas. Despite his handicap, Brad is an inspiration to all!

Brad donates a lot of his time teaching golf to disabled veterans and underprivileged children, showing all how to overcome adversity with a positive attitude.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Funny Gift boxes

These fictional products are designed to be great gift boxes, featuring ridiculous products such as the USB toaster.

From The Onion, they are reasonably priced as well.

Monday, June 15, 2009

More reasons to love Judge Judy!

Judge Judy is my guilty pleasure. I love the way that she tell it like it is, saying things that most people are too polite to say.

She calls people idiots to their faces and freely insults and demeans all sorts of nefarious people who deserve a stern tonic. I love it when Judy gets to rip into welfare cheaters, adulterers and thieves; it’s the best of reality TV.

This one is typical Judge Judy, absolutely outrageous. You can’t make-up stuff like this. This is Judy is at her best, dressing-down this scumbag:

I love this one too, a super fat lady who is being sued because she broke the crapper:

If this sort of thing appeals to you, check out Judge Judy’s great book “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining”. I highly recommend it!

New Chicks at the ranch

This time of year the birds are reproducing and one of our hen’s just hatched three baby chicklets:

We can only keep these "giant" Americana chickens (one of the first breeds in America, a favorite of the Colonial Americans). We need huge, mean chickens becauase the barn cats and feral coons eat the smeller foul. Everything here gets eaten by something else, so Mom and the chicks must be caged:

They must live in the safety of a cage to pvenet them from becoming a snack for the coons, cats, foxes and other sundry varmits.

Once they are grown they will have sharp spurs and be big enough to seriously injure a cat, and then they can go free . . . Seriously, you don't mess with these chickens, they are mighty nasty!

In other changes, after many years of faithful service, Jen3 has been promoted! She now reports to Robin, our resident nuclear engineer:

Jen3, in turn, is being replaced by J. L., who will help Clayton to groom the horses:

Welcome J. L.!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Winner of the funny cursor award!

This Japanese web site has the funniest custom cursor I’ve ever seen!

It’s worth the wait for the page to load . . .

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Eating tapeworms to lose weight

It’s not an urban legend, people really do swallow tapeworm caps to help them lose weight!

I’ve personally known a women who deliberately ingested “visitors”, by swallowing the "tapeworm cap" that sheds from the end of the worm! Allegedly, tapeworms help you eat your food, right from the safety of your own gut. But I must add, the woman who claimed to do this (Gertrude Voss) was an ex-Nazi nut-job who came to America from postwar Germany and she was always fat, despite her ingestion of tapeworms!

Tapeworms fore dieting used to be an accepted practice

According to my sources, the tapeworms share your meals, and once you are thin, you just get de-wormed, just like your dog!

But in the 21st century we have other options for ingesting intestinal parasites, Japanese cuisine:

Sushi - Your best bet for intestinal parasites

Friday, June 12, 2009

The bird eating rabbit

The bird eating rabbit, it sounds like the old joke “See the man eating chicken":

See below, what a cute bunny . . . But sadly, cuteness does not count in the food chain . . .

Screaming for Mommy before being eaten

I’ve seen many a bunny rabbit being eaten and it you look closely at the second picture, it’s clear that Mr. Bunny rabbit is screaming for his Mommy.

I’ve heard rabbits scream when being eaten alive by cats, screaming as the kitty pulls strings of warm chitlins from their body.

The sound of a bunny screaming is a blood curdling “EEEEEEEEEEEEE” sound, very impressive

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The scarlet letter cartoons!

It’s amazing how many people “don’t get” New Yorker cartoons, it’s almost like an IQ test!

I love this one:, very subtle, yet hilarious once you "get it":

I know quite a few B’s . . .

And this one, subtle but quite funny!

But even the Scarlet Letter jokes can go too far:

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Amazing sunsets

This page has a great array of beautiful sunet photos.

But this one has me puzzled. WTF are these things?

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

My dog ate my homework

The old excuse that your dog ate your homework may be outdated:

My dog ate my homework

But fear not! This savvy site, has a great alternative, a service that will sell you corrupted MS-Word files.

Perfect for homework of any kind, sending a professor a corrupted Word file is guaranteed to buy you a few extra days to get your homework done!

Monday, June 08, 2009

A 700 years old street with no name

Awhile back Janet and I were cruising the English countryside when I backed our super-tiny rental car into a ditch!

We were in Holne, a 700 year old village in the Darrtmoor area of England. When we called the British equivalent of AAA we discovered that after 700 years they had not yet gotten around to naming the street!

While we were waiting we discovered the ancient Church house Inn in Holne, Devon, a wonderful place with SUPER food and really nice proprietors.

The Church house Inn is over 700 years old, founded in 1329 AD and its gets our vote for our favorite restaurant in Dartmoor Devon. Fantastic food, great friendly service and unique local dishes place the Church House Inn as the best restaurant in the Dartmoor Devon area. Chef John Hughes uses fresh local produce and even posts their daily suppliers of meat and poultry.

The authentic deserts (with Devon Cream) are superb, and this is a truly great find in a gastronomic wasteland. Its reputation is starting to get out as the best restaurant in Dartmoor, so reservations are a must.

Church House Inn
Holne, Devon
phone: 01364 631208

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Fun Pirate Hunting Cruise in Somalia

The Pirate hunting cruise is here!

A friend recently alerted me to this great new adventure, hunting for Somalia pirates:

“To The Point is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia!

We board our luxury cruise ship in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea, and disembark in Mombassa, Kenya seven adrenaline-charged days later.”

Today, the best hunting is for escaped hogs, but hunting for pirates, that sounds like real fun. This pirate hunting cruise has a nice pirate hunting package, with reasonable prices for guns and ammo:

“Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:”

Priate hunts supply weapons of your choice

Kill pirates or your money back!

A pirate hunting cruise may be like a whale watching cruise, no promises to see any. However, this pirate hunting cruise guarantees that you and your family will get to kill pirates, very nice:

“We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombassa.

How can we make that guarantee?

We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of Somalia, thus in international waters where pirates have no rights whatever. "

Kill those pirate dogs in safety and comfort!

They even offer testimonials by pirate hunters, and even kids can get confirmed kills:

"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Fred D., Cincinnati, OH

Saturday, June 06, 2009

The world's top swimming holes

♪ ♪"I love to go swimmin with bowlegged women . . . "♪ ♪

Check this out, The top 10 places to go swimming

This swimming hole is amazing:

This is too scary for me, a "safe pool" for swimming at the top of Victoria Falls:

Friday, June 05, 2009

Image theft and international copyright law

Image theft and international copyright law do not mix!

Hardly a week goes by that some foreigner does not steal my articles and photographs!

Image theft is so rampant that I employ several attorneys actively working to protect my rights, but it’s very sad that international copyright law is almost impossible to enforce.

Even if you have a good legal case against somebody for image theft, they are usually judgment proof, scummy poor people who have nothing to lose. They will swipe your images with impunity . . .

For example, this foreign buttpipe stole entire web pages from me! He was so stupid that he forgot to change my name!

Remember, you post photographs of yourself on the web at your own peril, and don’t count on copyright protection to keep people from stealing your photographs.

U.S. Copyright law ends at the U. S. borders, and people in 3rd world countries can steal your photos and use them with impunity!

Image theft by Europeans

This poor fellow found his family facebook photo being used by some Eurotrash in Czechoslovakia without his consent!

Here was his facebook photo:

An unprotected image on facebook

And here it is, on some foreign shop window:

A photo stolen by Eurotrash

This is just another case of image theft, perpetrated by a bad Czech.

My experience with image theft

This type of image theft has happened to me, and I share their pain.

I posted this photo my myself on my web site, not thinking about how it might turn-on the gals:

Well, some women stole my picture and made pin-up posters of it without my knowledge or consent. . . . It's the price I must pay for being a sex symbol . . .

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Edible mammals and altruism

I studied altruism in my college psychology classes’ decades ago, and I remember the theory that Western civilization eschews eating animals that demonstrate human-like qualities like empathy, self sacrifice and altruism.

For example, we don’t eat dogs and horses because they are a “friend” to mankind, and antidotal evidence abounds of equine and canine altruism.

A dog or a horse will die to help you, and that’s why we don’t eat them.

This principle also extends to the “lesser” mammals (sheep, pigs, and cows) for whom we have no problem eating because they do not express any empathy or compassion for the suffering of others.

No altruism with cows

The behavior of cows reminds me of the uncaring behavior of the business world.

When cows get into a problem:

They can always count on another cow to come along and try to screw them:

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Creepy critter!

Eww . . . . .

Advice on using the Internet . . .

This one is cute:

And this:

Test your knowledge of current events

Many people today reply on the web for their news, and it’s especially disturbing when young people reply on TV clowns like Jon Leibowitz (Jon Stewart) for their news.

And it shows! Young people have a very limited knowledge of current events.

Me, I have subscription to several news magazines, Newsweek, Businessweek and TIME, but I’m not very political.

This test measures your knowledge of current events, just 12 fast questions. Try it:

Test your knowledge of current events

The stats show some interesting trends (n not disclosed):

- Gender - Men scored higher than women (52 for males, 35 for females)

- Education - More education leads to better knowledge of current events: (56 - College graduates, 44 - Some college, 31 - HS or less)

- Age - Older people know current events better than youngsters, with the over 50 crowd scoring nearly double the young folks: (53 - Ages 50+, 46- Ages 30-49, 28 - Ages 18-29)

Me, I nailed it! I guessed on a few questions, but my instincts were good.

“Here's Your Score: You correctly answered 12 of the 12 possible questions along with approximately 6% of the public.

You did better than 94% of the general public.”

Monday, June 01, 2009

Using non-deadly force

The media treated the introduction of the Taser with great fanfare, as-if it was the first non-lethal weapon ever used.

Taser me Elmo

Tasers can cost over $1,000 and they are not always effective at long range than other nonlethal alternatives like a good old salt rocks load:

Don’t tase me, Bro!

But to any hard-core 2nd Amendment lover, we all know that you can load a handgun, shotgun or file with non–lethal loads.

You have to be careful, even with blanks, as they are not always non-lethal. Remember back in 2003, Actor Jon-Erik Hexum was clowning around on the set and killed himself with a gun that was verifiably loaded with blanks.

Canadians have trouble with non-lethal weapons

I’ve always preferred a good old salt rock load in a double barrel 10 gauge shotgun (a 14 gauge does not have enough power to beak the skin, even at close range).

If you want a 12 gauge, try the Remington 870. As long as you gage the distance right, the salt will penetrate the skin under an inch, and not damage any vital organs, while still delivering a incapacitating sting that will last for days.

Granny with a load of salt rocks

Here is an article showing how to load your own salt shells.

Making your own non-lethal salt loads

Here he used a 12 gauge shotgun (less range) and he concluded the damage at these ranges:

1. At 20 yards, you might scare a dog or some other animal, but you sure wouldn't break the skin.

2. At 10 yards, you might break the skin with a couple of grains, but nothing very serious.

3. At 12 feet, you might get the desired effect, if the desired effect is to "burn" the target with the rock salt.

4. At 4 feet, you might cause a wound requiring a visit to a hospital for a human, or maybe death to a small animal.

In his case, I suspect that he did not use large salt chunks which will penetrate the skin easier than bird shot.

Remember, salt loads for only for scaring varmints (foxes, possums, Europeans) but you must be very careful. People may assume that you are using deadly force and shoot back at you with real bullets, so be careful when using ANY non-lethal load in a rifle or pistol.

Warning: When confronting an unknown intruder, assume that they are armed and use always use a lethal shot. And don't forget, aim for the head!