Thursday, February 04, 2010

Weird African movie posters

This is too bizarre, hand-drawn movie posters from Africa.

It's not clear why they don't use the standard movie posters, but these movie posters are beyond campy, they move into the realm of the truly bizarre!



We must remember that these movie posters are so ridiculous that they are considered "modern art":


Cujo: The Killer Cocker Spaniel

I have not seen this movie yet, but it looks quite interesting, judging by the poster:



Here in America, artists without any talent are called "folk artists", and these movie posters are true African folk art!

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Why America has no Field Marshalls

There is a funny reason why the United States has no Field Marshalls!

During WWII the Allied command expanded to over a million servicemen and we needed higher ranks to keep-up the expanding military infrastructure!

When America decided that we wanted to have five star generals, the top brass debated on the names for this new super-duper mega Über general.



The 5 star general insignia

The Europeans used the term “Field Marshall”, but American generals objected for several reasons:

- It’s European
- It sounds stupid, like a sheriff standing out in a pasture
- General George Marshall objected

But the real reason why we have no Field Marshalls was General George Marshall. When they talked about calling the new rank a Field Marshall, in a fit of rage he thundered:

“There is no way in hell that I will be known as Field Marshall Marshall”.

That’s the real reason why American has no Field Marshalls!

Hence, Congress came up with the names of “General of the Army” and “Fleet Admiral”.

A General Failure

These names did not work out too well for several reasons:

- Fleet Admiral was a bad choice since it sounds too much like “Fleet Enema”.

- In 1947, the highest rank in the United States Air Force was “General of the Army”!


Hap Arnold was taught to fly by the Wright Brothers!


After the Army Air Corp had become the USAF, they had to change Hap Arnold's rank from "General of the Army" to “General of the Air Force” in 1948

By the way, the 5 star generals were never retired! Omar Bradley was a very nice man, known fondly as “the GI’s general”, kept an office at the Pentagon until his death as an elderly man!


Elderly Omar: Still working on active duty in his 90’s

But that’s not the end of the story! Five stars was not enough, there was talk of creating a six star general, and some people claim that it was actually awarded posthumously!

The six star general

Incidentally, there is a largely unknown higher rank, the six-star general, (General of the Armies, plural) which was said to have been awarded to only to Blackjack Pershing, and posthumously to George Washington as part of the 1976 bicentennial celebration.


The six star general insignia – Never worn by a living general

That’s kind of dumb, promoting a dead general. It’s like the British, who will dig up dead criminals and hang their rotted bodies . . .

Of course, asswipe "Dugout Doug" Macarthur wanted to be a six star general, just as he wanted medals for valor that he did not deserve. He got an underserved Cognressional Medal of honor for his acts of cowardice at Bataan and Corregidor, and he gave himself a Distinguished Flying Cross for a single airplane ride over Korea:


Stolen Valor: Douglas Macarthur did not deserve all of his medals

Make no mistake, General Macarthur was a monumental prick.

He once awarded LBJ a medal for doing almost nothing! Lyndon Johnson was a true Democrat, always taking handouts, like the the Silver Star get got flying as an observer a single mission (His air crew in the 22nd Bomb Group got no medals for this mission!).

Worse yet, Lyndon’s plane never even made it to the bomb site! Look at this douchebag president wearing his stolen Silver Star pin, in his famous photo of him swearing-in the day that JFK was shot:


LBJ wore his Silver Star medal, knowing that he never earned it

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

The People of Wal-Mart

I've always enjoyed sociology, and these photos are pure blue-collar Americana!

It’s a trailer trash picnic, a great new web site called the people of Wal-Mart devoted to promoting the hard-working folks who shop at Wal-Mart.



The photos on this web site are amazing, check out the great pictures of Wal-Mart customers.

The pictures are updated daily, and every day there is someone new at Wal-Mart to amuse us.

BTW, they smell as bad as they look:






I think I know this lady:

Andy Burleson and Da Charming Youngsters records their first album

Andy Burleson and Da Charming Youngsters have recorded their first album!



The kids saved their pennies for over a year to pay for this, quite exciting!

Here is Andy, cutting his first real tracks!


Andy put down his first tracks!

It was sknowing like crasy in Ashvile at the recording studio:


Andy Burleson (l) and Nolan Smock

They do not suck nearly as bad as I expected . . .

Click this pre-release music sample, Introducing Da Charming Youngsters

Funny Mis-spelled tattoos

Every week, thousands of people read my notes on the issues surrounding tattoos in corporate America, and how it's perfectly legal to discriminate against people who draw on themselves.


Very few corporate executives sport tattoos

Because most tattooed people are retarded, they don't understand that I'm only reporting on corporate policies, and I get lots of hailaroius hate mail, which I have posted at the bottom of the page!

They say that “body art” says a lot about you and I believe it now after seeing this.

Make sure to look at these misspelled tattoos.


Don’t Juge me Bro

Stolen Valor arrests!


To protect the integrity of the US Military, President Bush signed the Stolen Valor Act of 2005 into law on December 20, 2006. Since that time, it’s sad that there have only been a few arrests.

UPDATE: Hero poser Michael McManus has been arrested b y the FBI!

I detest posers of all kinds, but I especially hate fake military heroes, the lowest form of poser scum. My father was a disabled veteran who practically lived in a VA hospital, and during my visits I was lucky enough to chat with real-deal heroes.




The Stolen Valor Act is America's revenge against those small-dicked losers who wear medal they did not earn, and the FBI needs to step-up arrests. It’s time to stop allowing cowardly pricks who disgrace our real American heroes.

I understand that the FBI thinks that fighting posers is not as important as fighting terrorism, but I was hoping to find more than a handful of arrests under the Stolen Valor act.

If you know anyone who has made false claims of valor, contact the FBI immediately and report it to the powned network.

You are powned!

The pown Network web site has a list of heroes or villains? and they are tracking arrests under the Stolen valor act. It turns out that a lot of the stolen valor arrests are old men with very small dicks, like Curtis Barger below:


Big medals don't compensate for small dicks

The guys at powned network are my heroes, volunteers who are working hard to expose stolen valor.



Alan Macintosh Before: Fake Hero!



Alan Macintosh After: Real Inmate!

Recent arrests under the Stolen Valor Act

This page lists arrests under the Stloen Valor Act and it highlights those caes that have been prosecuted under the Stolen valor act.

Our first douchebag is Rees Barr. Here he is wearing a fake distinguished service medal, a phony silver star and a fake bronze star:


Loser poser Rees Barr

Below is a a retired Coast Guard asswipe (Tom Barnhart), posing as a Navy Seal . He pleaded guilty to two counts of violating the Stolen Valor Act for pretending to have been awarded the Silver Star.



This creep is obvious. Nobody his age gets that many ribbons.

There have been more poser arrests, like this dirtbag poser Marine



Crapbag Rick Glen Strandlof, arrested by the FBI for posing as a Marine

And this asswipe, David V. Weber, a lowly staff seargrant, posing as a general, wearing a fake legion or merit and a fake purple heart:


He is the very model of the poser major general


Inmate Xavier Alvarez
Phony Medal of Honor winner

The Stolen Valor act should also include generals and presidents, like MacArthur who got an undeserved medal of honor (for an act of cowardice at Bataan) and gave himself a distinguished flying cross for a single plane ride in Korea:



MacArthur also gave LBJ a Silver Star for taking a single airplane ride, and the disgusting president wore it proudly on his suit lapel!


LBJ proudly wearing his silver star ribbon that he knew he did not deserve


Stolen Valor: Still at large

On the most wanted list, we start with Michael Patrick McManus, a criminal who is still at-large, changed with violating the Stolen valor Act.

What a dirtbag, posing as a Army hero:


Poser Mike McManus: Wanted by the FBI

If you see McManus, he is neither armed nor dangerous.

In fact, he looks like a real pussy.

If you see Mike McManus, please report him to the FBI immediately, as there is a jail cell waiting for him . .

Obama does not speaks Austrian!

It’s true, the president has admitted that he does not know Austrian!

See below, Obama acknowledging that he does not know how to speak Austrian.

For shame!

Me, I’ve always wanted to go to Austria and see the Kangaroos:

Little known facts!

There is Reddit thread on little known facts, with some real gems. I have not run these through snopes, but they sound plausable:

- A small child could swim through the veins of blue whale.

- John Tyler, 10th president of the United States, b. 1790, has 2 living grandsons. 3 generations spanning 4 centuries. Tyler had a son when he was 63...and then that son had a kid when he was 75.

- The only member of ZZ Top without a beard is named Frank Beard.

- A compressed spring weighs MORE than a relaxed spring!

- Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born and died on the tail of Haley's comet, and he predicted that he would die on that day.

- There are bags of poop on the moon.

- Apple computers are indeed PC's.

- The word "gullible" IS in the dictionary.

- Velociraptors were actually only about the size of a turkey.

- George Bernard Shaw is the only person to win an Academy Award and a Nobel Prize.

- Clint Eastwood is an anagram for Old West Action!

- A fly craps about every 8 seconds.

- Cat’s milk is 22% butterfat.

Monday, February 01, 2010

Using a tachistoscopic episcotister

I've always wanted one of those cameras with a tachistoscopic episcotister that could suoper-fast stop action photos like this!


Bird crapping in stop-action!

via TYWKIWDBI

These super-fast canera shutters are like "tachistoscopic episcotisters", that are used in advanced psychology subliminal perception studies.

Saying tachistoscopic episcotisters is a real tongue twister It is pronounced like this:

“Tack-ist-oh-scop-ic E-piss-ca-tist-er”.

Try saying tachistoscopic episcotister real fast three times, it ain't easy . . .

Are there innocent civilians in war?

Today, warfare has changed, and we make a distinction between innocent non-combatants and the enemy.

I have a nephew fighting in Afghanistan, and I feel scared for him, knowing that he is exposed, trying to fight an enemy who can switch from friend to foe in a heartbeat. This is not new, the Russians struggled with the exact same issue when they occupied Afghanistan:


A picture from a Russian pamphlet from their occupation in Afghanistan

So, how did this idea of "innocent civilians" begin?


Nuke 'em till they glow

I remember when a Goddamn hippie at school tried to teach my children that dropping the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki was a source of shame for America! It’s been 8 years, and I’m still angry about it!

To learn about why the Allies has no problems nuking Japan, I recommend the timeless book The Fall of Japan , still a great read, more than 40 years after its publication. I still have my copy from when it was first published in 1967 . . .

Back in WWII, there was no such concept as “innocent civilian non-combatants”. All American’s, including women, children and the elderly did their part in the war effort.

Conversely, every Japanese woman and child was our enemy, all working together as a team to destroy America.

When you read the history you understansd why the Allies had no qualms about nuking Japan civilians.

Photos like this fueled the hatred, where a young Australian POW has his head chopped off in a Japanese POW camp:


Australian POW Leo Siffleet being murdered by Yasuno Chikao:
Aitape, New Guinea on October 24, 1943.

All is fair in Love and War

Japanese atrocities like the rape of Shanghai and the mass murder of POW’s at the Bataan death March infuriated both the Chinese and the Americans.


American poster "Wipe out the murdering Japs"

To me, these war crimes are not just hstory, it's personal.

My own father, (Louis F. Burleson), was evacuated from Corregidor just a few days before the Japanese invaded the Bataan peninsula.

Many of those who remained were murdered in the Bataan death march, a Japanese war crime where they murdered thousands of American POW's.


Dead POW’s at Bataan: The Japanese killed American prisoners with impunity

My father lost many friends to Bataan, and he never completely recovered from his injuries fighting the Japanese. It’s ironic that he was treated at the Bataan Memorial Hospital in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

This type of cruelty continued through the war, and the Japanese women and children were full combatants in several major battles. Even after V. J. Day, America was outraged by Japanese “after war crimes”, when hundreds of POW’s were executed by a disgraced Japanese Army.

Bloody Iwo

Iwo Jima set the stage for the mainland invasion of Japan, a prelude to what we could expect when we ended the war.

At Iwo Jima American Marines were routinely being killed by “non combatants”, and it became clear that the Japanese were going to fight to the bitter end, with civilians charging machine gun nests carrying only knives and swords.

After losing dozens of Marines to Japanese women and children, the Marines were forced to adopt the policy of “Kill them all and let God sort them out” . . .


Do war crimes really exist?

Giving aid and comfort to the enemy

War, by its very definition is an amoral act, and even the most honorable of countries go all-out to win. In WWII, the German’s used church steeples as lookout towers and schools to store their ammunition. Even little Pope Benedict did his part, dressed-up in his cute little Nazi uniform:


Pope Benedict in his Nazi war uniform

Back in WWII, kids planted “Victory Gardens” and Rosie the Riveter was the poster girl for thousands of American housewives helping to kill the enemy.


Rosie the Riveter: Is there no such thing as an innocent civilian

In his book “Yeager”, aviator Chuck Yeager talks about how his P-51 squadron was ordered to “shoot anything that moves”, when the Allies discovered that there was no such thing as a German non-combatant.

German Women killed soldiers from church steeples, elderly men would charge at Marines with pitchforks and even the Hitler youth children were taking up arms against the Allies, killing hundreds of soldiers.

Even today, all good Americans do our best to give aid and comfort to our fighting forces in Iraq and Afghanistan, so in a sense, we are not innocent civilians. Like every patriotic civilian, I help support our troops, as do many women and children.

I wonder, does that make us fair game for enemy attacks?