Monday, July 18, 2005

Burleson Dress Code becomes professional standard

I’ve just been notified that my company dress code has become popular.

I’ve granted permission to several professors to use my content, and my dress code is required reading at several university business schools, mostly because the graduates these days dress like this:

I know, I know, it’s my innate good looks and impeccable taste, but I don’t want people to get the wrong impression. I’m not a stickler for formal dress at home or at the office, and I often enjoy the freedom of working naked in my office:

It really helps me keep-down unexpected visitors and Linda Webb never walks-in on me without knocking anymore. Working nude is stimulates your creativity, and it’s an integral part of my quest for red neck nirvana . . .

Creepy Face?

Now I can understand that my good-looks have also prompted this meteoric rise to the top of the Google heap (plus my great taste and sense of professional style, of course), but I’m a tad concerned that my stock photo is deemed “creepy” and that some people say that my standard stock photo make me look like a “used car salesman”:

- ”While it is true that Donald Burleson is a little scary looking, he knows his Oracle.”

- “It may be just me, but somebody looking like a
used-car salesman, should be quiet. Especially if he looks like this when working from home.”

I love kids and animals too. Here’s a picture of me and Cuddles (a Guide Horse), who loves to climb-up into my Bark-o-lounger to watch TV with me:

We even allow the animals to use our bathroom. Now I ask you, creepy people would not be that altruistic, right?

Holier than Thou?

I’m thinking that I might change my stock photograph. After watching an episode of “The Simpson’s” (the one where Homer gets ordained so that he can open a wedding chapel), I decided to check it out.

I found the Universal Life Church Monastery, who offers online ordination to anyone who can pass their rigorous monastic ordination requirements (your payment clears):

I like collecting occupational licenses, and I discovered that to conduct a wedding in North Carolina you must be a Justice of the Peace, the captain of a ship at-sea or an ordained minister. Since I never know when I might need to conduct a wedding (food for thought for anyone with a teenaged daughter). Anyway, I decided to get ordained.

For those of you with kids who liked my fun rhymes, (I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit), try this one, three time, real fast:

“six stick shifts stuck shut”

Whoa! Try this with a group of first-graders and watch the laughs!

Also, I’m hearing from some beta testers about the new Windows “Longhorn” and it’s expanded list of error messages. My personal favorite has always been “Windows has detected an unknown device and is installing a driver for it”, but there are some new ones coming too, I hear:

- Error parsing error list; waiting for next error
- Error buffer overflow. Too many errors