Monday, July 11, 2005

Parasite Pals

I was strolling through the “Dollar Store” yesterday and I noticed that there is a new line of kid’s toys here in North Carolina called “Parasite Pals”.

They are really cute, and rural North Carolina kid’s can now get fuzzy dolls that make them feel better about their own internal parasites. Marketing genius!

We have “Dig Dig” the head louse, and “Blinkey” the eyelash mite:

My personal favorite is “Tickles” the tapeworm. . .

Seriously, even people from third-world countries are disgusted by how some native North Carolinians live, and even the itinerant Mexican farmhands tell me that they can’t wait to get “back home” to civilization. Anyway, Parasite Pals are a big hit here, and I just love this desk set accessory:

Swear to God, there have been cases of Rabies in our county lately, and I have to gets all sorts of third-world vaccinations that are normally reserved for researchers in Borneo. People can get worm’s too, and around here, some fat people will deliberately ingest tapeworm “caps”, allowing the worms to feed directly from their intestines:

I’m not joking. Swallowing tapeworm caps does aid in weight loss, a new type of parasite pal and a Hollywood craze:

“The latest fad to strike the diet-crazed citizens of Beverly Hills consists of ingesting larval tapeworms in raw pork, beef, and fish dishes at trendy Los Angeles restaurants.

"You can eat whatever you want and never worry," confides one dieter who claims to have lost 73 pounds in eight days.”

I did not know that other parasites carry worms inside them, leading to a vicious cycle.

Our Yorkie dawg, “Noel” has her own parasite pals, and the worms keep coming-back every time she gets fleas. According to Dr. O’Malley, the fleas ingest the tapeworm larvae that are expelled from the tapeworm caps, and when the dog swallows a pesky flea, the cycle starts again.

Today I have to “bomb” the house and car to nuke those nasty fleas, so I’ll be spending the bulk of today outside. . .

Speaking of bombings, what was “Al Queda” thinking when they bombed London? Don’t they remember what the Brits did to the last people who tried it?