Monday, August 31, 2009

Interspecies dog grooming

This page has some great example of dog grooming for that trendy inter-species look.

Can’t have a pony? No problem, make a Poodle-Pony:

And you can always get that old West flavor with this lovely Bison cut:

The giant panda may be close to extinction, but fuzzy dogs are plentiful:

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Stop intolerant taxi cab drivers

I’ts sad that religious fundamentalist taxi cab drivers are bringing intolerance to American shores.

Today, Jewish people say that it's difficult to hail a cab in Manhattan unless they take off their yarmulke’s, and in some cities cab drivers will whiz past women because it’s “beneath” them to serve a female.

Some fundamentalist zealots embrace intolerance and hatred

It’s high time that Americans stopped tolerating intolerant people and started stand up against anybody who openly thrusts their sexism and racism upon the travelling public.

Discrimination in San Fransicso

Just last week I got into a taxi cab in San Francisco with Janet and Noel the dog, only to hear the cab driver get all upset and say the big lie:

“I’m allergic to dogs”.

I know it’s a lie because it’s a well-known issue among Seeing Eye dog users. Intolerant cab drivers are taught to lie and say that they are allergic so that they can ignore the Americans with Disabilities Act, harass blind people, and impose their beliefs upon the public.

Discrimination is discrimination; it’s always based on hatred and intolerance.

Because we work extensively with blind people who use guide dogs, we know how some cultures consider dogs to be “unclean” and how taxi cab drivers openly refuse to pick-up abybody with a Seeing Eye dog.

It’s against the law to do this, but that does not seem to matter. This article has a long list of offenses, and this story is typical:

“New Orleans taxi driver Mahmoud Awad, got so incensed at his passenger trying to bring a dog into the cab that he physically yanked her out of it by the arm while yelling

"No dog, No dog, Get out, get out."

When charged with abuse, he replied by pointing out that "the saliva of dogs invalidates the ritual purity needed for prayer".

But this intolerance problem is not just limited to dogs, taxi cab drivers have been seen openly discriminate against Jews, women and people who drink alcohol.

Treating women like garbage

Awhile back from some telephone caller ordered Janet to put a man on the phone! You can read the details here.

Janet told him politely that he was not worthy of speaking to a man, and it’s a darn good thing that she did not put me on the line, else this creep would have learned some new English cuss words.

America is built upon religious tolerance, but anyone who serves the public cannot thrust their own belief system upon the travelling public.

Do not tolerate intolerance

In Miami, I’ve witnessed people getting off of cruise ships with boxes of alcohol only to find that a cab drivers refuse to take them because they find it offensive.

These intolerant prople show open contempt for Americans, oinsisting that we kowtow to their demands.

Please watch this video, cab drivers who impose their culture upon the travelling public:

Listen to these people and judge for yourself.

It’s beyond offensive that zealots believe that freedom of speech allows them to impose their beliefs upon others.

I’d like to see legislation making it a crime for any taxi cab driver to discriminate against anybody.

Funny automated language translation software

Back in the 1980's the CIA was developing software that translated Russion into English, and English into Russian.

There is the funny story about when they translating the saying “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” into Russian and back again into English where it read “The vodka is good but the meat is rotten”.

Well, this happens all the time on Babelfish, and the results can be hilarious!

Check this out, the translation party.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Web surfing on commercial aircraft

With wireless access coming to aircraft, somebody needs to compile a list of URL’s that are not a good idea to browse.

Clearly, this URL should definitely be avoided . . .

There is still no ruling on whether it’s OK to surf adult content on aircraft (and who determines what is pornographic) while flying. It’s a complex issue:

Paul Krassner: Who's To Say What's Obscene? from DANGEROUS MINDS on Vimeo.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Bob Dylan mistaken for a homeless man!

At 68 years old, Bob Dylan (a.k.a. Robert Zimmerman) still blows wind, being detained by the police who did buy his stupid story that he used to be a famous musician . . .

Bob Dylan was detained by police in Long Branch, N.J. last month, when a young officer failed to recognize him, police said. The officer proceeded to go to earnest lengths to ensure the hooded, disheveled, rain-soaked music legend was, in fact, who he said he was.”

“We see a lot of people on our beat, and I wasn't sure if he came from one of our hospitals or something," Buble said. . .

"OK Bob, why don't you get in the car and we'll drive to the hotel and go verify this?' " she said she told him. "I put him in the back of the car.

To be honest with you, I didn't really believe this was Bob Dylan. It never crossed my mind that this could really be him."

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Baby deer day care

Wild Does love it here at the ranch.

Our ranch has become know to all of the woodland critters as a safe haven, and recently we have noticed that Momma deer’s are dropping their does off for free deer day care:

You can walk right past a hidden doe and not see them

We have dog fence around our acreage, so it’s a very safe place for deer, and the horses don’t mind them at all, they share the pasture!

This baby has been in the pasture for three days now, and we are guessing that she was separated from Momma deer while being pursued by a predator.

I guess we have a temporary pet doe, at least until she is strong enough (or scared enough) to leap over our fence back into our woods . . .

Baby does can leap 3 times their height

Today I saw three babies out there, it’s now a deer day care center . . .

Neanderthal extinction theories

Neanderthal extinction: Do they walk among us?

There are several theories about what happened to the Neanderthals:

Neanderthals were killed off - There is an interesting article in TIME on Shanidar 3, a Neanderthal who appears to have been killed by homo sapiens. Unfortunately, it’s bad science, since the rib of Shanidar 3 only shows a stone spear mark, with no evidence that it was inflicted by a modern man. It’s just as likely that Shanidar’s wife killed him . . .

Neanderthals Melded with Homo Sapiens - This the “Clan of the Cave Bears” theory that Neanderthals interbred with modern humans, becoming today's Europeans.

Neanderthals became natural extinct - Still others believe that the Neanderthals died off naturally.

Nothing happened - Neanderthals live among us - Some say that the Neanderthals moved to France, where they live today. Me, I believe that Neanderthals still walk among us, I’ve seen them with my own eyes.

Neanderthals are not just the stuff of Hollywood

The stocky build, low intelligence, excessive body hair, heavy brow, the receding forehead and chin, all Neanderthal features, which can still be seen today in some modern humans.

Some picture the 21st century Neanderthal as a cross between an Arab terrorist and Rosie O'Dnnell:

A 21st Century Neanderthal

I also saw a live Neanderthal on the streets of New York city, swear to God.

Neanderthals are not that different from French people

And I’ve seen a few Army soldiers who I suspected have Neanderthal blood:

There's crazy, and then there's Army crazy

Neanderthal descendents in Hokkaido?

It's hard not to stare at a living Neanderthal, but they exist. I took an advanced computer class with a real live Neanderthal in the 1980’s in Silicon Valley, and he had all of the classic Neanderthal features. Sadly, I did not have the guts to ask to take his picture.

However, I did manage to strunke up a chat, and he said that he was one from Hokkaido, incidentally, the home of the Minatogawa Man, where an Asian form of the Neanderthals has been found.

This article says that DNA studies suggest that natives Ainu people of Hokkaido have a mixture Mongoloid, Neanderthaloid, and Australoid blood. . . .

How did Neanderthals look?

With only skeletal remains, there is a debate about how a live Neanderthal would look. Some say that Neanderthals had African features, but I'm so so sure:

Do Neanderthals remain today?

This article suggests that Neanderthals were ginger, with bright red hair and freckles:

Some cite evidence that Neanderthals are ginger

Somewhere, there should be preserved Neanderthal hair, since Woolly Mammoth hair has been recovered from over 10,000 years ago. They have completed the Neanderthal genome, so it sould be interesting to see the new research on the subject . . .

Monday, August 17, 2009

Squirrelize your photos!

After this squirrel sneaked into time-shutter photo, this photo has gone viral, all over the interweb:

The original squirrel photo

Now, some creative fellow made this web site to allow you to add Mr. squirrel (squirrelizer) any photo you desire!

Try the Squirrelizer

You can squirrelize any photo you desire:

Add Mr. squirrel to any photo

This “squirrel new” replaces “squirrel classic”, and we have yet to see a squirrelizer for this squirrely photo:

Squirrel "classic" is now obselete . . .

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Inside the H1-B Visa scam

Put American computer professionals to work!

Today there are millions of qualified Americans who want these high-paying Information Systems jobs, which they cannot get because of the H1B visa people who will work for pennies on the dollar.

Jay Leno offers up this tidbit on the extent of the H1B Visa fraud:

Some experts say that H1B visa program is rife with fraud and posers.

A U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services [USCIS] study, H-1B Benefit Fraud & Compliance Assessment published in September 2008, found a 27 percent rate of fraud in the H-1B visa program.

Mommy, a foreign poser took my computer job!

The Capital Immigration Law Group notes that H1B fraud is widespread, about 20%, but I suspect that the real figure is far higher:

“In our opinion, the results are fairly striking. . . Upon further review, it appeared that 19% of the H-1Bs which were already reviewed and approved by USCIS turned out to involve fraud.”

Many H1B Visa workers have graduated from “diploma mills”, and they produce computer scientists who don’t even know how to write a computer program, engineers who cannot even do basic design, and “experts” who have no expertise whatsoever.

In this article “A Fraud Most Foul”, we see that America has plenty of skilled IT workers and that it’s not necessary to import anyone to full these jobs.

It’s a lose-lose situation. Americans lose jobs, and the phony overseas experts are exploited by greedy corporations.

It’s also time to start enforcing personal responsibility and send home those tens of thousands of fraudulent H1B posers who gained United States citizenship based upon their fraudulent credentials.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Sniper sets world record for killing enemy

A Scottish sniper now claims to hold the Afghanistan record for killing the enemy, an amazing shot of 5,000 feet, nearly a mile!

Chris Reynolds – He can kill you a mile away!

However, some claim that a Canadian sniper Rob Furlong made a far more impressive kill (1.5 miles) in 2007.

One of my neighbors (Carl) is a retired Secret Service sniper and world record holder who can shoot a six inch pattern at a mile away! This skill is beyong amazing, I have trouble even seeing somebody a mile away, much less blowing their head off . . . .

He tells me that the gravitational drop of a bullet at this distance is over 12 feet! Sniping at these distances is like hurling a cannonball and requires considerable skill.

You really need to know your Kentucky windage to kill someone at this distance.

The loud sound of a rifle crack is the noise of the bullet breaking the sound barrier, and at these great distances the enemy was lying dead on the ground before the rifle shot was heard!

This video shows actual sniper footage, and you can see how snipers kill enemy combatants with precision and skill.

WARNING – This video contains flying body parts:

Friday, August 14, 2009

Ten Army heros receive The Silver Star in North Carolina!

In an unprecedented event, the pentagon has awarded ten hero’s to win the silver star, America’s second highest award for valor at Fort Bragg, N.C.

Ten hero's get the Silver Star in North Carolina!

One of them, John Wayne Walding is a real hero in my book!

He got his leg shot half off, so he amputated it with a knife, then strapped the disconnected appendage to his thigh with his bootlaces, then kept fighting!

John Wayne Walding - This is what a real American hero looks like

I know several Silver Star winners are all of them share a dry wit about their combat actions.

Walding, for example, tried to give himself morphine, but stick himself in the thumb. He noted “my thumb felt great”.

Read this, this is what real American’s are made of . . .

“By the time the battle ended, the Green Berets and the commandos had suffered 15 wounded and two killed, both Afghans, while an estimated 150 to 200 insurgents were dead, according to an official Army account of the battle.

The Special Forces soldiers had nearly run out of ammunition, with each having one to two magazines left, Ford said.”

Thursday, August 13, 2009

MIT researches Aluminum Foil Deflectors

There are websites which cater to the needs of paranoid schizophrenics, and there is important new research into the effectiveness of the Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie (AFDB), a hat that is designed to protect the psychotic person from mind-reading aliens and the CIA.

An Aluminum Foil Deflector Hat (AFDH) is a type of headwear that can shield the brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers. The kids at MIT are now applying their skills in scientific research to the real world, and researching the different styles of foil hats for nuts:

The "centurion" style of mind control deflector hat, is tested at MIT

Check out this important MIT study.

According to this site, dedicate to the aluminum foil deflector beanie, the beanie style is still the most popular, but there remains concerns that "beanie" style may not offer enough coverage to block mind controlThe foil "beanie" may not offer enough coverage to block mind control

The beanie style - The traditional favorite of the insane

“AFDBs are inexpensive (even free if you don't mind scrounging for thrown-out aluminum foil) and can be constructed by anyone with at least the dexterity of a chimp. This cheap and unobtrusive form of mind control protection offers real security to the masses.”

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A girl named Urine

North Carolina is noted for unusual names, especially among the illiterate folks. The illiteracy rate here in rural NC is amazing, and this inability to read contributes to the funny name phenomenon.

In the 19th century country folks chose obscure Roman of Biblical names (my Grandparents were named Vespasian and Corinna), but today they make-up names and anything goes . . .

We know a waitress named Jerkala, and a nice lady named Shetaqua, (whose name is pronounced shit-ta-qua, I kid you not).

Oh, did I mention the young lady named Lattrine?

Now I ask you, who chooses a child name with sounds like sh*t and jerk in them?

North Carolina country folk do . . .

Illiterate names

We all know about the stupid country song “a boy named Sue”, but how many people know the story of the girl named “Urine”? By the way, the name Urine (or Urene), is not pronounced like pee (“Your in”), but instead, it’s pronounced with a hard U, and sounds like “You-Reene”.

Urine explained that she asked her Mommy how she got such an unusual name, and her Momma explained that she was born a preemie and spent two weeks in the intensive care unit.

On the ICU crib, a large sign was posted that read:

“Please save Urine”. . . .

Only semi-literate, her Mom assumed that was her name on the sign:

“That’s when I knew that the folks in the ICU had done named you already”. . .

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Snakes in the swimming pool!

One down side to having a swimming pool in North Carolina is all of the critters who like to go swimming. We have literally fished out thousands of toads. The stupid toads appear to like the swimming, but the water kills them, and they swim-away from the net!

Every day we net out some woodland critter having his morning constitutional in our pool.

But this summer was different; we started getting snakes, big swimming snakes!
So far this year, we have found a live copperhead bathing in our pool (a deadly snake which I dispatched immediately), and today we had this uninvited guest.

I was in the deep-end and got to see this at eye-level, coming right for me.

It’s a good thing I was in the pool, as I think I wet myself . . .

Friend or foe?

While most people kill all snakes, we need “good” snakes to keep down the rodent population that plague farms like ours.

I was taught this timeless poem of snake-killing rules, a timeless mnemonic that can save the life of an innocent snake:

"Red to yellow, kill a fellow. . . . Red to black, venom lack."

But this snake did not have the distinctive poisonous colorations. It’s marked like a diamondback rattlesnake, but no rattles.

The best time to find a snake in the pool is before you get into the pool

A quick Google image search revealed that she is an eastern milk snake, a nice snake:

The interweb says that the milk snake name resulted from a myth that these snakes drink the milk of cows because they like to hang out in the barn eating mice.

Anyway, Janet fished him out of the pool, and he slithered along his merry way . . .

Monday, August 10, 2009

A History of Stewardesses

I remember that flying was a special treat back in the 1960’s. Airline tickets were expensive, and people dressed-up in their Sunday best when flying.

Flying commercial was a swanky affair, something reserved for successful, important men.

In the golden age of air travel, stewardesses were hot models, all thin and voluptuous, and the pilots were all macho ex-military fighter jocks:

Coffee, tea, or me?

Even the movies of the 1960's glamorized sexy stewardesses:

Stewardesses in film

Back then, predictions of the future of aviation foresaw no changes, and all stewardesses were super-model quality:

A 1970's prediction of the 21st Century stewardess

How wrong they were!

As I recall, all of this changed with Women’s lib, and in the mid 80’s it became popular for effeminate men to become stewardesses.

They even got the official name changed from stewardess to the gender neutral “flight attendant”.

The real 21st century flight attendants

In an ironic twist, it’s alleged that a flight attendant started the worldwide spread of AIDS when he refused to leave his friends behind:

“As a flight attendant Dugas was able to travel the globe, at little cost, to such early HIV epicenters as Los Angeles, New York, Paris, London, and San Francisco.

He claimed to have had over 2,500 sexual partners across North America since becoming sexually active in 1972.”

Personally, I have no problem with homo flight attendants, but I must believe that many business travelers might appreciate a return of the glorious past.

For a fresh idea in air travel, let’s bring back the sexy stewardesses, something like Hooters in the sky!

Ah, it could herald the 2nd golden age of air travel . . .

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Bad Taxidermy!

This site lives up to its name, true crappy taxidermy:

You can buy bad taxidermy on eBay too! Check out these horrible stuffed carcasses.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Reverse Darwinism in America

America is the best country in human history, a beacon of freedom and prosperity that attracts the very finest people from all over the world.

Because most foreigners wish to become Americans someday, we can choose new citizens from among the best and the brightest. Yet sadly, we choose the worst and the stupidest; criminals with no respect for the law.

It’s reverse Darwinism, and it’s all because the USA does not have the nads to enforce our existing immigration laws.

America is noted for our bravery, yet we don’t have the Moxie to drop-kick the CRIMINAL aliens who come to our shores.

Even worse, we reward bad behavior from criminal aliens who come to America illegally and have their foreign babies, who are granted US citizenship. This is offensive at so many levels . . .

America is a nation of LEGAL immigrants

Wake up America! There is a principle in the law that nobody should enjoy the “Fruit of the poisonous tree”, and that needs to be extended to apply to those who benefit from illegal US immigration.

Every year, the least desirable immigrants (those with no respect for our laws), wade across the Rio Grande and give birth to US citizens, all at taxpayer expense.

History has taught us what happens when a nation is founded by criminal exiles, and it’s time for America to grow a set and start enforcing our laws.

Get out your Spanish/English dictionaries, our uninvited criminal neighbors are coming in droves. . .

WARNING: This page may make you sick, but read the comments:

“You are either legal or illegal. There is no grey area. Coming here in the dark of the night should put you at the end of the line when you are caught.”

Help stop illegal aliens - pefform I-9 certification

But allowing criminals to gain US citizenship is not limited to blue collar workers. There is extensive H1-B Visa fraud, and this Businessweek article only denotes that the detected fraud is only the tip of the iceberg.

“We are only at the tip of iceberg as to where this [investigation] leads," said Matthew G. Whitaker, U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Iowa. "We have a ways to go and more [fraud] to uncover."

Posers from India pretend to be qualified software engineers with wild abandon, fake engineers gaining USA citizenship fraudulently.

Some dirtbags have no problem posing as professionals

There is also a huge black market for fake ID, which is ridiculous in this day and age of biometrics (Oracle’s CIO genius Larry Ellison offered to give America a “card-less” national ID database, but Bush would not take it).

To ensure against I-9 posers, we hire attorneys to independently verify everyone’s right to work in America.

Our company performs I-9 certification on all of our experts, and if more companies made this investment, illegal alien fraud would be greatly reduced.

There’s crazy, and then there’s Army crazy!

I’m a big fan of Gary Trudeau, and I’ve been reading Doonesbury since the 1970.

I loved his recent strip where he says “There's crazy, and then there's Army crazy”! Brilliant!

As an Army brat, I saw quite a bit of Army insanity, especially during the Vietnam years . . .

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Ex-smokers are the worst: Becoming an indignant ex-smoker

When it comes to being intolerant of smokers, they say that ex-smokers are the worst, and I believe it.

During my 38 years of smoking, I puffed over a quarter million cigarettes, and even though I’ve not smoked in over a year now, I’d be a liar if I said that I still don’t crave a cigarette every waking hour. Smoking is one powerful addiciton . . .

It's still amazes me that 60 million Americans still smoke in 2009, over 20% of the population!

There is a huge demographic shew, with the uneducated and low wage earners making-up the largest share of smokers.

My doctor says that there are some rules for becoming an indignant ex-smoker, foremost that you not smoke for at least a year (the relapse rate for smoking is quite high, even after 6 months).

Nasty anti-smoking campaigns

The worst Nanny State for anti-smoking is California where they do radio advertisements to encourage people to harass smokers. The message went something like this:

“Every minutes over a billion Californians die from inhaling second hand smoke.

Don’t let these murderers kill your family.”

When I smoked I was always amazed at the delusional Californians. On the surface they claim to be liberal, but they are among the worst Nazi’s when it comes to violating smokers’ rights!

It's bizare, but in California people tolerate smoking Marijuana in public but cigarette smokers risk physical violence, even for lighting-up on a windy beach! In kown some people who call California "The land of fruits and nuts" . . .

Fear of death campaigns

As an ex-smoker, I was always greatly bothered by the fear of death campaigns.

However, I've watched several loved-ones die a painful death from lung cancer, and that was not enough to make me quit smoking.

Some folks may remember Yul Brenner pleading with people to quit smoking as he died from lung cancer, and I think that the fear of death ads the the most effective, even if the public at-large find them super-gross. Look at this one:

This one makes a great point. "quitting is hard, but not quitting is even harder:"

Anyway, I’m now an official indignant ex-smoker and I’m entitled to harass and annoy smokers freely. I can:

- Mock smokers, suggesting that they are weak-willed pussies because they cannot quit.

- Remind smokers that their clothes smell like those of a 50 year-old crack whore.

- Tell smokers about how lung cancer will cause them unbearable pain and agony before it kills them.

- Feign coughing and hacking to harass any smoker who dares light-up anywhere in my line of sight.

- Advise people on how to quit smoking (My tips to quit smoking)

Zip lines for Bighorn sheep

Here is something you don’t see every day, a big horn sheep ram whose horn was caught in a power line:

Big horn sheep hanging from a telephone line

Actually, this is not as unusual as you might think. The rams don’t know about power and telephone lines and wind-up hanging around for awhile:

Sheep get their horns caught on cables frequently

Some sicko even made it into a t-shirt of the hanging Ram . . .

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

The top ironic ads from history

This is quite entertaining, check these out, Ironic ads

It reminds me of the AYDS candy they used to sell as a diet supplement.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Funny TV ad for auto body shop

I appreciate great TV ads, and I love this creative ad for an auto body shop:

Monday, August 03, 2009

Foreign hacker to face death penalty in America?

The long arm of the Internet is alive and well, and it's heartwarming to see America extraditing foreign hackers.

Beware, foreign scum hackers – attack the US military, and America will extradite you.

And it's not just military attackers. Ray Griffiths, an Australian hacker dirtbag was extradited to the USA, thanks to the DOJ.

“This extradition represents the Department of Justice’s commitment to protect intellectual property rights from those who violate our laws from the other side of the globe.”

“Our agents and prosecutors are working tirelessly to nab intellectual property thieves, even where their crimes transcend international borders,” said U.S. Attorney Chuck Rosenberg.”

At last, this British hacker scumbag has lost his appeal and will come to the US to face trial for hacking into the military computer system, an act of war that is punishable by death under the UCMJ.

Is hanging the appropriate punishment for a hacker?

In this case, English asswipe Gary McKinnon faces charges of causing almost a million dollars in damages, and more ominous, interfering with the military defense computers for the USA.

This man even looks evil:

Some suggest that they fry this guy to send a warning to foreign hackers that their attacks against US military computers will not be tolerated.

Most folks I know wholeheartedly agree that any foreigner who hacks a US military computer should be put to death.

Since he attacked the US Navy, I wonder if a navy firing squad would be appropriate?

Saturday, August 01, 2009

The three Idols: Intelligence IQ logic test

The three idols intelligence test is a great test of IQ. Those with an IQ below 130 have great difficulty answering this simple, yet perplexing test of logical thinking!

Here is the 3 idols quiz, see if you can identify them, asking only three questions:

- Three idols A, B, and C are called, in some order, True, False, and Random.

- True always speaks truly, False always speaks falsely, but whether Random speaks truly or falsely is a completely random matter.

- Your task is to determine the identities of A, B, and C by asking three yes-no questions; each question must be put to exactly one idol.

- The idols understand English, but will answer all questions in their own language, in which the words for yes and no are ‘da’ and ‘ja’, in some order.

- You do not know which word means which.

See the answers for the three idols IQ logic test