Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Assurance wireless scam: Free cell phones

A new scam called Assurance Wireless from Virgin Mobile offers poor people a free cell phone service.

This giveaway competes with the Safelink wireless scam , whereby welfare people get free cell phones.

Now I ask you, who would get a cell phone from a company whose name began with “Ass”?

Assurance is a thinly disguised communist giveaway, designed to resdistribute wealth. It's nothing more than a wireless program exclusively for people on welfare, food stamp, anybody who is on the dole gets a free cell phone from Assurance:

Who would get a phone from a company whose name begins with "Ass"?

Assurance is an abuse of the federal Universal Service Fund (USF), money set aside to adhere to the Telecommunications Act of 1996. This law has the goal of promoting an economic environment conducive for the growth of new information technology.

Hey, what better way to promote Information Technology than to give-away cell phones to the criminal underclass, a sure way to help them facilitate crime:

Assurance cell phones help criminals to stay in touch

It's true, those who qualify for Assurance free cell phones have a much higher rate of criminal convictions than the general public. These are the last people we need to be getting free telephones.

On the other hand, it's possible that Assurance is not a scam because it's an easy way for the police to eavesdrop on the criminal underclass. Because the government is paying for the cell phones, it's their property, a smart way to spy on welfare moochers and common criminals.

How to qualify for an Assurance free phone

To get a free phone you must be taking benefits from any organization. It does not matter much, so long as you are realy poor or have a history of accepting:

- Medicaid
- Food Stamps (EBT)
- Supplemental Security Income (SSI)
- Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF)
- Federal Public Housing Assistance (FPHA)
- Low Income Home Energy Assistance (LIHEAP)
- The National School Lunch Program's Free Lunch Program

Assurance phones are not modest landline telephones. No way, Jose. Assurance provides the latest cell phone technology with brand new cell phones.

Assurance wireless is just another "safety" scam, claiming that people need cell phones for safety. This has nothing to do with safety. Any cell phone can call 911, and you don't need Assurance wireless.

Si - Assurance will get your ass a free cell phone

Assurance free phones are only available to people residing in New York, North Carolina, Tennessee and Virginia.

If you are among those working two full-time job, you might think that you have earned the right to get an Assurance cell phone, but you are wrong! Assurance Wireless is designed primarily for people with a history of taking handouts from the government:

Hardworking people need not apply: No phones from Assurance Wireless

How about we give the free phones to hard working people who are trying to make ends meet?