Look at my horse; my horse is amazing

Incredible stupidity does not just happen; you have to work at it.

This video is the ultimate WTF, a good warning to young people of what happens when you drop too much acid.

With so much “lazy” stupidity on the interweb, it’s nice to see someone who has put some real hard work into making something incredibly stupid . . .

I must admit, it has a catchy tune, though.

I think I’ve found my new ringtone:

The world’s first emoticons from 1881

There is nothing new under the sun, and people have been using a keyboard to express emotions for over 100 years!

Here is an example of rules for using "emoticons", dating from 1881:



via TYWKIWDBI

I found your camera!

I found your camera!

I love this site, I found your camera.

Just browse the pics and see if you can return the shots to their rightful owners . . .


Know these people? We found your camera!

Unobtrusive questions to access personality traints

Fun unobtrusive Personality questions

This document has some interesting insights into unobtrusive questions that reveal details about your personality. THe MMPI test has teken this to a fine art, correlarting answers to unobtrusive questions to peoplr with known personality disorders.

These "onobtrisive measures" are used to accurately access personality types. The tests are used to weed-out neorotics, dishonest people, assholes, douchebags and posers with great success.

Here are some onobtrusive true/false questions that can reveal your personality traits:
-------------------------------------------------------
I feel comfortable around people.
I prefer to take showers over baths.
I believe in the importance of fluoridated water.
I think that old people smell funny.
I am not interested in abstract ideas.
I like Cherry flavor more than Orange flavor.
I have a vivid imagination.
I would like to try hibernation.
I believe that others have good intentions.
I have never tried anal sex.
I pay attention to details.
I do not like plastic dishware.
I like to cut the eyes out of photographs.
I find it difficult to get down to work.
I tend to vote for liberal political douchebags.
I would describe my experiences as somewhat dull.
I avoid philosophical discussions.
I suspect hidden motives in Asian people.
I enjoy the aroma of a good fart.
I make plans and stick to them.
I tend to vote for conservative political candidates.
I insult people.
I don't like to draw attention to myself.
I do not enjoy going to art museums.
I know how to captivate people.

Doing "the wave" in Korea

This is impressive by any standard, the football "wave" taken to a whole new level:

Nursing a baby fawn!

I love animals, but you can take things too far!

We have a pair of twin fawns's in our back pastures, a couple of adorable babies, and we are happy that the doe trusts us with her babies. They graze with our broodmares, and the old momma's know that are are babies and treat them gently. Too cute!

However, you should never attempt to domesticate a wild fawn, as seen from from this eBay auction:

At the BC golf tournament

BC recently helped sponsor the Society of Information Managers (SIMS) annual Raleigh North Carolina 2009 golf tournament.


(L to R); Andy Burleson, Janet Burleson and Don Burleson


Andy tees off

We won “most honest” players award, given to the team with the highest score!

Squirrel – It’s what’s for dinner

Any redneck knows that fresh squirrel is a great dinnertime treat:



When serving squirrel for dinner, you need to follow good dining etiquette:

- Bee bee dish – You should serve squirrel with a tiny “shot dish”, a place to hold the buckshot that inevitably gets into the squirrel meat.

- Nutcracker - Yep, squirrel is tasty, thought and through, and many folks keep a nutcracker that the table. You take the nutcracker and crack open the skulls for a tasty treat.

But squirrel is now catching-on as a gourmet food, and the English love squirrel.

Here is NC we serve up squirrel in its own butt, a treat we call “squirrel in a cup”:


Jen3 digs into a squirrely treat. . .

But beware, eating the squirrel brains can cause a fatal variant of Mad Cow Disease, known around here as “Mad Squirrel Disease”, and at least six people have died.

TSA busts psycho woman for faked abuse case!

This psycho bitch named only “Nic” published a scathing report about TSA abuse, all 100% fake, according to the video evidence:

“At this point in time, my heart began to race, thinking we would miss our flight and I would be stuck in the Atlanta airport with Jackson for who knows how long until there was another flight to Baltimore. . .

I handed him my son and he walked away with my child.

My eyes welled up with tears, I stood up from my chair and I asked the female TSA agent,

“Where is he going? Where is he taking my child? Why is he leaving?”

Jackson, while being whisked away looked at the male TSA agent awkwardly and repeated “no no no no.”



Fortunately, the all-seeing TSA had cameras set-up and recorded the whole non-incident:

TSA video shows that this was all a lie.

Don’t get me wrong, I detest TSA abuse. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and when you give any minimum wage loser authority they become Nazi fascists . . .


The Barney Phyfe syndrome – absolute power corrupts absolutely

But this is one case where the truth prevails. The TSA site notes what really happened (typo left intact):

“After watching the video footage, you'll see the video clearly shows that this invididual [sic] was never separated from her baby by TSA.

You'll also see that a lot of the other claims are also unfounded.”

The TSA should sue Nic for defamation . . .

Road kill toy!

Out here in the country, you can't drive a mile without seeing a "road pizza", some feral critter who did not know about cars . .

But this japanese road kill toy below us just plain sick. . . .

It's "Jap crap" like this that makes me happy to stay in America:


Made in Japan: Sicko road kill cat toy!

Read the comments!

Check out this site: British road kill toys.



British people can be very weird, but plush toys of road kill?


Cuddly road kill toys for British people

World’s funniest family portrait

Look closely – very closely . . . There are 7 people in this portrait . . .



Via Arbroath.

Teaching "tic tac toe" to a chicken

It’s quite easy to teach a chicken to play Tic Tac Toe, provided that you have the right equipment.

All you need is a Skinner box, some flip-flops, steppers, timers and switches, and a little knowledge of basic game simulation.

Some casino’s offer a “chicken challenge”, where suckers try to "beat the bird:


Do you "beat the chicken"?

I studied under Professor Emeritus Frank Logan, former chair of the Yale department of Psychology and one of the top behavioral scientists of the 20th century.

Frank taught me how to automate Skinner boxes, and once you know how to devise the learning tool, all you do is plop-in the chicken, and it learns to play toc-tac-toe all by itself.

One trick chicken

Because tic tac toe follows well-structured decision rules, Chickens can easily be trained to play simple games like tic tac toe using Skinner boxes and the principles of operant conditioning.

When broken-down into a flattened decision tree, tic tac toe strategy becomes so simple that a chicken can do it:


The decision rules of tic-tac-toe can be presented linearly

The electronics simulates game after game of tic-tac-toe, so that a chicken will sit through hundreds of games each day. When the chicken makes a correct answer they get a treat, a wrong answer produces no reward.

That’s all there is to it!

Tic Tac Toe is a fun game for young children because they have not learned that the decision rules are fixed, and therefore perceive tic tac toe as a game of skill.

Janet has trained many a trick chicken, including “Clucky” a chicken trained to sit on a broomstick!

Lots of people teach chickens to play tic tac toe and them plop them into roadside attractions, to amuse the tourists.

The trainers, being part B. F. Skinner and part P. T. Barnum, use hyperbole when explaining how a chicken is taught to play tic tac toe:

“With his many years of training and working with animals, Bunky has an eye for raw talent - and when he began working with Ginger, he saw something in her he hadn't seen before. The sparkle of stardom - and that's when he knew she was going to be a star!”

Here are a video of a chicken playing tic tac toe:

Stop Fox abuse

Our ranch is right next to a fox farm, a place where they raise foxes so that they can be savagely hunted and killed by packs of dogs.

I don’t like foxes because they kill our poultry, but I don’t approve of fox hunting wither, animal abuse that would make Michael Vick proud:



This article notes that some British creeps are bolting fixes to benches in order to train the dogs how to kill them.

There is a special place in hell for these British scum:


British fox hunters are not known for their intelligence

Make no mistake, there is something very wrong with people who enjoy watching animals suffer.

In fact, some researchers note that it’s a hallmark of sociopaths, people who enjoy torturing helpless animals.

I’d like to see a National Sociopath registry, just like the sex offender registry.



Fox Hunters enjoy torturing animals, and they are perverts

I would force anyone convicted of torturing animals to be tattooed, to warn the public that they are perverts:


Let's tattoo sociopaths so we can easily identify them

I’d like to see the Bobbies bring this English creep to a bench and feed him to some Rottweiler’s.

Just garnish him with some Branson Pickle, and let the doggies eat him alive . . . The punishment should fit the crime.


The only Fox hunting that should be approved

In related animal cruelty news, they arrested the scumbag who duct taped a cat:



I hope this creep goes to trial as an adult . .

Gender recognition based on facial expression

Check this out Scientific American’s best illusions contest.

This photo is fun. Which image appears to be female?



It’s the same photo, with the only change being the contrast!

“The Illusion of Sex demonstrates that contrast is an important cue for perceiving the sex of a face, with greater contrast appearing feminine, and lesser contrast appearing masculine.”

In this case, the full colored lips of the left hand photo makes it appear female, a facial recognition features that even babies use to distinguish gender.

Hence, the widespread use of lipstick!



Psychological studies suggests that this is a primal response, hardcoded into our DNA. The more you can make your lips look like an enflamed vaginal opening, the more female you will appear . . .

Bizarre and funny photos

Up close this is Albert Einstein, but if you step back ten feet and look, it becomes Marilyn Monroe:



And if that didn’t offend you, try this:



Want more? This is good for a chuckle:

The top 2009 Halloween costumes

What’s hot for 2009 kid’s Halloween costumes?

The kids say that these are the hot Halloween masks and customers for the 2009 season, our recently departed friends:

- Billy Mays costume
- Michael Jackson (thriller ghoul halloween costume)
- Obama custume
- Conjoined twin myslexia face mask
- A toilet halloween costume

The dead conjoined twin costume is creepy, like this real world example:



I have some real-world conjoined twin myslexia photos here.

Billy Mays



Michael Jackson


Conjoined twin myslexia



Obama

Any Obamanation will do. I love this one, the Barakula mask:





The Toilet costume:

Richard Dawkins is a jerk

People hate atheists for many reasons, foremost because they are arrogant and insulting to people of Faith.

Worse than any religion, atheists open insult people who believe in anything that they cannot quantity, in short they are the ultimate in intolerant douchebags.

Some atheists like Richard Dawkins are widely mocked and ridiculed:


Richard Dawkins is a joke

There are entire web site devoted to Dawkins, like this one “Richard Dawkins is a douchebag”, very accurate.


Even athiest Grandma's are pure evil

Need proof that Richard Dawkins is an asshole?

Take this quote, from Richard Dawkins. How intolerant and arrogant is this crap?

If you claim that something is true, I will examine the evidence which supports your claim; if you have no evidence, I will not accept that what you say is true and I will think you a foolish and gullible person for believing it so." - Richard Dawkins

Quoting Richard Dawkins is akin to quoting Adolph Hitler . . . .



Dawkins is condemning all people who have faith in God as being "foolish and gullible". That's why Dawkins is widely hated, he comes off as an insulting, pompous, arrogant, intolerant British twit, the stuff of Oxford.


You can always tell an Oxford man

Americans respect people of all faiths, even a Godless atheist, why can't atheists respect Americans belief in God?

Back in 1776 we had a war over this issue of religious freedom against this type of condemnation by English people!



Here in America we respect peoples religious beliefs, we don't condemn them because just they believe in something that they cannot see.

Some folks don't believe in Richard Dawkins.

They cite convincing evidence that Dawkins is really just Emma Watson in an ugly costume:



But it’s not just Richard Dawkins who is a hated asshole, it’s atheists everywhere:

- Tony Blair equates atheists with violent religious extremists

- President Bush Says Atheists Shouldn’t Be Considered U.S. Citizens or Patriots

The domain of the douchebag

One of my most popular blog pages exposes people who purchase academic vanity awards, an area that I like to call “the domain of the douchebag”.

The American Biographical Institute (ABI) is located right up the road from me.

I drove by their institute once; a more accurate name would be the “American Biographical Condo”.

The ABI offices issue awards like "Greatest Mind of the 21st Century" and "Genius Laureate of the United States".

Swear to God, what kind of douche buys this stuff?

The Noble prize!

This fellow Jeff Shallit has a nice “Hall of Lame”, a list of douchebags who buy these accolades. . .

I like the "nobel prize" best!

"The UCC even awards a "Noble prize" (check the spelling; Alfred Nobel had nothing to do with it). Among its recipients is Shri Chiudry, a creator of horoscope software. I can think of no one more deserving."


Shri Chiudry - A Noble Peas Prize winner!



Another member of the domain of the douchebag


I am douchier than thou

But lets face it, some people are douchier than others.

For example, see my notes on asswipes with narcissistic personality disorder.

Jeff Shallit listed this amazing web page, a man who claims to be "Genius Laureate of the United States of America"

Please click the link, you won't be disappointed!

Does it get any douchier than this?

This guy lists his Masters in MIS from the "World Academy of Letters", a purchased degree, straight from a diploma mill!


A Masters from the World Academy of Letters - only $595 each

Interesting, the World Academy of Letters appears to be another one of those Raleight NC scams, perhaps related to the American Biographical Institute?



You can always tell a douchebag, but you can’t tell them much!

How many people do you know who make up a web page listing their “titles”, presenting purchased medals as-if they had won them!

There are douchebag doctors too, see here a list of physicians who have purchased accolades from the ABI:

The military domain of the douchebag

Also, see my notes on fake military heroes, scumbags of the first order . . . another domain of the douchebag:




A fake Navy Seal

But the highest honors of the domain of the douchebag goes to this faker:


Martin Edwards wears a fake Bronse star and air medal

Crappy photoshop ad for white teeth!

Janet saw this while browsing and found it amusing:

Guaranteed to make you smile!