Monday, February 23, 2009

Funny foreign names

I’ve had friends and acquaintances with funny foreign names like Buger, Nad, Spooge, Freek and Grubb, and it’s sad that they get made fun of behind their backs, all because their parents did not do their homework!

See my notes on how foreigners can avoid giving their children funny names. Here is my list of child naming guidelines for new foreign parents:

- Crappy names: Avoid all names that begin with “shit” like Shital and Shitaqua. I also recommend avoiding any name that begins with the letters “ass” like Astrid.

- Hippie Names: Names like Trip and Freek should be discouraged.

- Body part names: Avoid names that sound like body fluids like Spooge and Dooshe, and never give names that sound like breasts like Maboob or Titt.

- Genital names: Avoid giving baby names that describe naughty bits, names like Butt, Wang, Balldeep, Baal, Nad, Vergina, Cherry and, or course, Furpie.

- Homonym names: Avoid names that sound funky when pronounced, names like Fu Kiu, Don Key, Maiballs, and Wang Kerr.

After watching “The Office” episode where a woman named her baby girl “Astird”, it became clear that all parents need to be conscious of how funny a name sounds. The name Astird is of Old Norse origin and its meaning is "fair, beautiful goddess".

But it sound like Ass-turd . . . Oh well . . . .

Some American names are also funny, names like Drewell, which look good on paper, but sounds like “Drool” when spoken. And let’s not forget Dick Handler and Joy Beavers . . .

And let’s not forget those funny name airport announcements, making fun of weird names . . .

I also just finished reading the book “The Joys of Engrish”, a great laugh on funny foreign product names.

But it works both ways. There are some funny American names (Ms. Minge, Mr. Plonker) which have a bad meaning in other languages, like the British speak. British people have very funny product names: