Friday, February 05, 2010

Baby naming guidelines for foreigners

I’ve had friends and acquaintances with names like Buger, Nad, Spooge, Freek and Grubb, and it’s sad that they get made fun of behind their backs, all because their parents did not do their homework!

New parents need to consider the ramifications of baby names, especially in light that the worldwide language of science and technology is English:

It’s not just foreigners, and there are plenty of illiterate Americans often give their kids ridiculous made-up first names like the girl named Urine and Snoop Doggy Bag, but foreign people must be especially careful in case not to give their child a name sounds funny in English:

Shital Baldeep is not an ideal name for a support technician

There are entire web sites devoted to bad baby names, but it’s not complete because they do not advise foreign parents on how to name their children to deal with an English-speaking world.

For better or worse, English has become the language of science and technology and new parents all over the globe need to avoid names that have bad connotations in English.

Foreigners have trouble with English names

Here is my list of child naming guidelines for new foreign parents:

- Crappy names: Avoid all names that begin with “shit” like Shital and Shitaqua. I also recommend avoiding any name that begins with the letters “as” like Astrid.

- Hippie Names: Names like Trip, Toon, Lidd and Freek should be discouraged.

- Body part names: Avoid names that sound like body fluids like Spooge and Dooshe, and never give names that sound like breasts like Maboob or Titt.

- Genital names: Avoid giving baby names that describe naughty bits, names like Butt, Wang, Balldeep, Baal, Nad, Vergina, Cherry, Poob and, or course, Furpie.

- Homonym names: Avoid names that sound funky when pronounced, names like Fu Kiu, Don Key, Maiballs, and Wang Kerr.

If a foreign parents want to ensure that their baby names does not embarrass their child, they should consult with a native English speaking person, like a real American redneck.

Consult a real redneck for baby naming advice