Friday, February 19, 2010

Elderly people can be eaten by their dogs

My research shows that old people who live alone are frequently eaten by their pets after they die, and the most famous case of dogs eating the elderly is the case of Pancho Barnes.

In life, Pancho was a woman who thrived in a dog-eat-dog world. In death, it's a sad tale that ends when she is shat from her dog's anal sphincters.

The reports say that the elderly woman's body was partially eaten by "numerous starving dogs".

These dogs would only be starving after picking every tidbit of meat from her corpse, licking her eyeballs from their sockets and crushing her bones to extract the marow.

Pancho Barnes: Loved by her dogs

Pancho Barnes was quite a character; a dog eared lady who was one of the 20th century’s first truly liberated women and the first cougar of the 1940’s. Pancho Barnes was man's best friend, and she used her wealth to attract men half her age.

Most people only know of Pancho Barnes when her character appeared briefly as the bawdy barmaid the 1980‘s movie “The Right Stuff”. Pancho Barnes real name was Flo Lowe.

Pancho Barnes was beaten by the Ugly Stick

She let herself go to the dogs, and Pancho Barnes was ugly as homemade sin. Like the old saying goes: “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone”, Pancho was mean as a junkyard dog, rude, unkempt, and foul-mouthed.

But she was doggedly determined to be famous, and she worked like a dog to succeed. But in the end, Pancho Barnes was the underdog who wound up being a dog treat:

Move over, Rover: Pancho loved dogs, and they thought she was delicous

Every dog has his day, and Pancho was the top dog who ran the famous “Happy Bottom Riding Club”. She populated the club with hot floosies, deliberate doggerel designed to make people think that the Happy Bottom was a whorehouse! (She wanted people to think that she was crooked as a dogs hind leg, but it was just part of her dog and pony show . . . )

It's a dogs life, and the Happy Bottom boasted over 9,000 members, and both of my parents were members from 1947 to 1950!

Pancho Barnes with her “girls”

Pancho ran with the big dogs, hanging around anybody famous, and she was a notorious publicity hound, attaching herself to whoever was in the news.

Pancho Barnes (left) with Amelia Earhart

There was a documentary made about Pancho Barnes (I bought mine here on Amazon), and here is a book about Pancho Barnes on Amazon.

Don't bite the hand that feeds you

Pancho Barnes could not let sleeping dogs lie, and she began barking up the wrong tree when the Korean war broke out and all of the good pilots left to dogfight in the skies over Korea. With the heroes gone, the Happy Bottom began going to the dogs.

KMA: Note the Air Force lip marks on her butt

Pancho and sued the Air Force, and refused to call off the dogs even though she was just chasing her tail.

Pancho's was hounded by the officers wives, and as a liberated woman, Pancho should have known that the tail wags the dog, and the women did not appreciate having a whorehouse right outside the base gate.

Pancho's bark was worse than her bite, and after alientating the USAF, she was in the dog house for good, and retreated to a new location with her tail between her legs . . .

I am become crap, the destroyer of carpets

You can't teach an old dog new tricks, and Pancho faded from fame. Frail and friendless, nobody noticed when she died in 1974 and she proved that dogs are not always man's best friend.

Some say that she was murdered, but it was hard to prove because she was found as piles of dog crap all over the floor of her trailer!

Let this be a solemn reminder. If you die alone, there is a really good chance that your pets will eat your body.

R. I. P. - Rest in Piles

It's sad to think that is the final resting place of Pancho Barnes., as she came to rest in steaming piles of warn poo:

Don't let this be your final resting place

To learn more about this fascinating lady, here is a video about Pancho Barnes, but it does not mention how she was eaten by her dogs: